Asking myself these questions

I just realized something about my recent self. I say recent because I feel like I've sort of entered a renaissance period of my faith, with a renewed commitment to living in the kingdom of God rather than in my own tiny, dark little world.

But here's what I am now faced with: is my desire to follow Christ motivated by a rekindled fire in my soul, a dry, cracked thirst for Him that can only be quenched by seeking His living water? Or am I, in the words of Peter Scazzero, "driven by a deep personal need to compensate for a nagging sense of failure"? Am I trying to make up for lost time, ashamed because I stood on the shores of the Old Country for so many years instead of sailing toward the New? Or am I ready to slough off the inadequacies of the past, broken and vulnerably poised with upstretched arms as the Spirit of God fills me to overflowing with His grace?

I'll definitely be seeking the answer to those questions today.