Monday, February 06, 2006

Speaking of food...

You have to love food-service cash-and-carry stores. They have the best stuff for sale there.

The plastic bucket to the left also contains mayonnaise, from a different brand.

What I want to know is what makes this Heavy Duty grade of mayonnaise better than regular mayo. Can you use it to lubricate locomotive engine parts?

When I was growing up, one of my friends had a mother who was a total pack rat. She collected darned near everything, so much so that it was difficult to walk from room to room in their house. For a while, his mom operated a deli, but it didn't last too long. There were leftover foodservice items she hung onto, long after the business failed. EWWWWWW. One of the remnants was, inexplicably, a very large jar of maraschino cherries, exactly like this one. Since maraschino cherries last about five minutes shy of forever, we kids were able to munch on them, a couple at a time, for months and months.

(For the record, no, I didn't purchase these products.)

5 Talked Back:

At February 6, 2006 at 1:50:00 PM CST, Blogger Jim said...

none of your wimpy heavy-duty mayo for me, I only use Extra Heavy Duty Mayonnaise


At February 6, 2006 at 3:03:00 PM CST, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Heavy duty mayo can withstand direct hits from most ordnance. It can replace drivers-side airbags in a pinch (just don't ask what kind, or how the hey you're supposed to get one in between you and the wheel in time for an accident).

It is the only thing that is tougher than Chuck Norris.

Heavy duty mayo can break labor contract deadlocks.

Heavy duty mayo can temporarily stand in for a house foundation (but only temporarily-it's already doing a heckuva job for mayo!)

Heavy duty mayo once saved a young girl from falling down a well. It would've kept that guy in Hitchcock's Vertigo from falling down from the Statue of Liberty.

And, above all, heavy duty mayo is your friend.

Hey, I don't make this stuff up. I just report it.

Actually, wait a tic...I do make this up. Nevermind.


At February 6, 2006 at 5:29:00 PM CST, Blogger stan said...

Jim - None of your wimpy extra heavy duty mayonnaise for me; I only use Hellman's QX-1 High Viscosity Mayonnaise.


At February 6, 2006 at 8:07:00 PM CST, Blogger Jim said...

I was half way through the first paragraph when I glanced at the photo!!!!

"Chews-Per-Bite Ratio" <==isn't this a real concept -- is it part of your diet???


At February 7, 2006 at 1:35:00 AM CST, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Ugh. I have a touch-and-go relationship with mayo as it is.

The first time I read that article, my stomach turned just a bit.

I just reread it.

It just turned a little bit, again.


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