Random Thoughts Blowout Sale!

These are thoughts that are too short for posts of their own, and I don't want to make up a title for each one:

• This morning I saw a car with Maine plates on it. My first thought was that someone must have asked the driver to pick something up in Portland, they got confused, and drove across the country to get it. Oh well, welcome to Oregon!



• After much consideration, I have decided that my computer is not a he or a she. It's an it, and that's it.



• There's a building along McLoughlin Blvd. that used to be a Wendy's restaurant, but now it houses a porn store. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere, but I probably shouldn't think about it anymore. Forget I mentioned it.



• The thing about having a big scar on my chin is that I'll never be able to pretend that I'm Stan's twin brother Marty.



• Sometimes, you just want to dream about flying, but God gives you a dream about microwaving your socks.



• If someone has a headache in Tijuana, do they take Mexcedrin?



• I paid 99 cents to download Sheryl Crow's "Every Day is a Winding Road", because I heard it in...a Subaru radio commercial. What have I become?



• I finally bought a Sonicare toothbrush. It tickles my lips!



• Why do people plaster their Web addresses in the back window of their cars? We're not on the Internet, we're driving! And it's always a long, hard-to-memorize URL, which means that we're required to write it down instead of, you know, steering our cars.



• The Geico Gecko: Who green-lit that lame idea?



• License plate frames with a paw print design: Not my idea of fashionable taste.



• Do you think that anyone's ever watched all seven Police Academy movies in one sitting?



• This afternoon I saw a Garfield suction-cup doll hanging from someone's back car window. What's even stranger, it was in a brand-new Honda. There's something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it...



• At any given moment, someone in the world is praying for you. Awesome, isn't it?



• What about Tylenolio? Advilar?



• My best blog topics often come when I'm nowhere near my blog. For example, right now I am at 7-Eleven, microwaving my socks.



• If you're in your 30s and still have your high school graduation tassle hanging from your rear-view mirror, you have problems. Report to a hospital immediately.



• Lastly, I want to give a big thank-you to the literally 20 drivers who wouldn't let me in their lane today when I signaled to get in, and the 21st who honked when I forced the issue. And yes, my blinker works.