He was baffled as to why he suddenly had my omelet spilled over his head

So I’m walking down the hall, carrying a plate of food, or a bag of McDonald’s food, or something else that is obviously meant for my imminent consumption. A co-worker approaches. You know what joke I never need to hear again?

“Ooohh, what’d you bring me?”

NOTHING. I brought you nothing. This food is for me. Got it?

I hear a variation of this joke almost. Every. Day.