Do they have no Quality Control department?

That's right, it's a cherry pie that may contain pits. Do they think this disclaimer will save them from tooth-replacement lawsuits?

The happy couple!

For those of you who haven't heard, last week I went to Missouri (and Oklahoma, Arkansas and Kansas) to visit Nicole. (Yes, that Nicole, the one from the blogs.) And I have returned to Portland an absolutely changed man. Nicole is a wonderful, beautiful woman, as you can see, and I absolutely adore her!

So, don't we look great together?

(Jim, I believe this once and for all proves that Nicole is real. :) )

And, finally, I've heard the news

I just found out that my last day of work at the power company is this Friday. I am SO not tucking in my work shirts for the rest of the week.

This pretty much speaks for itself

Grove, Oklahoma

Keeping Portland Weird, tiny plastic horsey style

Long ago, Portland streets carried horse traffic along cobblestone streets, and the sidewalks were built with small metal rings with which to tie off one's horse. A law was passed that says that any concrete work must duplicate or replace what existed historically. So, even though people haven't really needed the rings to tie off horses for around 100 years, you can still find them installed into new sidewalks around town.

Some people have concluded that these quaint artifacts needed a greater purpose. So, a few months ago, artist Scott Wayne Indiana began to affix toy plastic ponies to the rings with cable.


Here is a group of photos on Flickr.

Man, I love this town.

I'd like a large pizza with mushrooms and extra nomenclature

I just got back from buying a take-and-bake pizza from Papa Murphy's. When I got there, there were a couple of people picking up an order they'd called in. After they left, it was my turn to order.

Despite the fact that I was the only customer in the store, the kid behind the counter still asked for my name. I asked, "Is this in case twenty customers suddenly show up?" (The store was to close 25 minutes later.) "We always have to get a name," he explained. So I told him my name was Sergio Morgan Stanislaus Waldo Iglesias Olaf Mary Elizabeth Arthur Julius Gary Stuart Littlefield Horatio Barker Sixpence Macklin DeWitt Fancho Robbie O'Malley O'Flanagan Nguyen, MD.

By the time I was finished, my pizza was done.

Laughing Girl, Part 2

Big news!!! I randomly found another laughing lady today...except instead of animation, it's a real, cackling lady!

Really, you should take a look at this lady's blog (vlog). It's devoted to showing videos of her laughing. It's the whole purpose of the blog (vlog)! Her blog (vlog) is called Laugh Practice! This may just be the greatest blog (vlog) ever. Sorry, Jim.

She looks and sounds like she could be the twin sister of "Seinfeld's" Newman. I haven't seen her snort, yet.

Leaf Laugh
Fruitcake Laugh
Katrina Laugh (really)
Ice Cube Laugh
Pencil Laugh
Telephone Laugh
Laugh Like a Pirate

No kidding, this is only a fraction of her laughing videos.

It's the Starlight Parade!

You know, I didn't think I'd even see the parade this year, but I was already downtown to see a movie, and the movie was over right before the parade started.

The movie, by the way, was District B13, and it was amazing (while at the same time mindless). It's basically a showcase for acrobatic fighting and running around, in the style of parkour (jumping), with some crappy "story" surrounding it. Visually, it's exciting to watch. Plotwise, not so much—but who cares!

So the parade, or at least the TV broadcast of the parade, must have decided to wait until I was ready to watch it, because it literally started right in front of me. I was at the corner of SW Broadway and Taylor St., which is right in front of the Hilton, and right in front of the bright lights and multiple cameras of Channel 8. (I could tell when the station went to a commercial because whoever was next in line would have to wait for two minutes or so before proceeding.)

(Photo from the 2005 Starlight Parade)

Toward the very beginning of the parade, traditionally, is the large ensemble known as the One More Time Around Again Marching Band, which, according to their website, is believed to be the largest permanent marching band in the world. Seriously, folks, this is one massive marching band. Over 500 members ranging in age from 18 to 85, all of whom marched in high school, college or perhaps military bands. There's nothing in the world like hearing "Louie, Louie" as played by dozens upon dozens of horns. They were amazing.

Other band highlights include the Kell's Irish Pipes and Drums, the Regiment of Syncopated Drummers (BOOM-ba-ba-boom-BOOM!) and a couple of decent high school bands. The Regiment makes me want to watch Drumline again.

Oddly, there were one or two high school bands that seemed to have their volume turned way down—I could barely hear them. Were they asthmatic brass players?

Then there were the floats. I'm not going to describe any of them, because I am not really into floats, and so none of them really impressed me at all. However, there was one truck preceding a float that caught my attention simply for the sheer awesome of it:

By golly, it's a giant hamburger. This alone makes the Starlight Parade the best parade ever.

Laughing Girl

Created by Will Reinhardt
calicomonkey.com

I just can't stop watching this animation. It's weird and pointless. Yet it's funny. It's like watching a train wreck over and over...a weirdly funny train wreck.

Rock on, Scranton!

Perhaps the greatest TV theme music of all time is that of NBC's "The Office".

Here it is.