Monday, October 24, 2005

"Vic" will never be forgotten

Every year in June, our fair city presents the Grand Floral Parade for the Rose Festival. Its route snakes through streets on both sides of the river, and many, many thousands of people attend. because there are so many parade watchers, obviously, real estate along the curbs and sidewalks is at a premium. People are allowed to reserve their space a few days in advance, marking out their viewing territory with tape, paint, chairs chained to sign posts, etc.

However, the drawback to this system is that nearly nobody takes the responsibility to clean up their markings after the parade is over. Months later, our streets are still polluted with electrical tape:

This is highly ironic. You see, Portland is a city that prides itself on being on the cutting edge of environmental conservatism. We have scores of "green" buildings constructed each year. We recycle 40% or more of our waste. Et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Yet we can't take a couple of minutes to yank up a couple of freaking strips of tape once a year. Vic, wherever you are, you have some unfinished business.

10 Talked Back:

At October 25, 2005 at 12:33:00 AM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

So true. Its so ironically funny!


At October 25, 2005 at 5:06:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Its so typical of the gently inconsiderate attitude of most Grand Floral Parade goers.

As a matter of fact, the parade goers are one of the biggest reasons me and The Wife™ have never gone.

I've been to the parade Just. Once. The crowd was so inconsiderate I've never wanted to go back.


At October 25, 2005 at 5:30:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Honestly, the only parade worth going to, in my opinion, is the Starlight Parade. People just don't take themselves seriously for that one, choosing only to have fun and be silly. Who can beat those runners throwing candy at the audience?

The only thing I can think of that makes seeing the Grand Floral in person worth the trouble, is the One More Time Around Again Band. They are the best.


At October 26, 2005 at 3:56:00 AM CDT, Blogger Humor Girl said...

interesting but not surprising....

Thanks for stopping by my site! You said that it would have been worse if he swung a fake sword around? Well, he did swing himself around violently in the aisle to crack his lower back....

Does that count? :)


At October 26, 2005 at 11:15:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

I don't like parades. Too many people. And I can't believe Vic didn't clean up his mess! What a burro.


At October 26, 2005 at 4:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Oh, this is only one example. There's tape up and down both sides of MLK Jr Blvd, for 1/2 mile, at least. I haven't even looked at NE Broadway or the Burnside Bridge, but I'm sure there's more stuck there, too. Vic definitely isn't the only burro....


At October 28, 2005 at 11:02:00 AM CDT, Anonymous Mom said...

Yeah, I do read your Blogs from time to time. Just back from vacation and had a lot of catching up to do. It's nice to see you're concerned about "burros" that don't clean up after themselves! I wonder if you cleaned up after your escapade in Mexico (hurricane, you know!). Mom


At October 28, 2005 at 5:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Ladies and gentlemen, meet my mom.


At October 29, 2005 at 10:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Get out of town! That's really your mom?

Hey, Stan's Mom!

(this feels really funny for someone my age to say but, hey, I thought, go with it)


At November 1, 2005 at 10:39:00 PM CST, Blogger Katie said...

Hi Stan's Mom!!! He's been doing great eating his veggies.


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Friday, October 21, 2005

Banner poll

I think I'm going to retire all but two or three of the rotating "dinglemunch" banners this weekend, and create seven or eight more. I already have an idea of which ones to cycle out, but I thought I'd ask for your influence on the matter.

So, which ones should I keep?

1. Bridge
2. Poodle
3. Filter
4. Caught
5. Stereo Hair
6. Justine
7. Pool
8. Russian Train
9. Cat Eye
10. Grill
11. Of South Australia

9 Talked Back:

At October 21, 2005 at 8:02:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

No idea as I come here via Firefox I haven't seem them, I'll need to check under IE.



At October 21, 2005 at 8:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

I like the grill, bridge & pool banners.


At October 21, 2005 at 8:47:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

I like most of the one's that are of inanimate objects... I do agree that grill, bridge and pool are great.


At October 22, 2005 at 3:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I use firefox and don't get to see your banners either. :-(

But I just looked at them all and my favorite is the filter...just because it's like an inside joke of your blog and means nothing to those that haven't read your blog!

I find the cat eye a bit freaky.


At October 22, 2005 at 10:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

oh yeah i have firefox also. i just get the rotating quote on the top.

i like bridge, filter, justine, pool, russian train, and the font on the cat eye.


At October 23, 2005 at 7:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Dudes! I thought that fugitive banner thing was just me somehow. It doesn't show up in either FireFox or Netsape 7.

That said, my top three are:

1. Bridge (this is a kicking photo. Is that the Mississippi?)
2. Russian Train (I love images of Yurp, espeically old ones that remind me of the Cold War)
3. Stereo Hair (Innocent pix of women usually make me smile, even more so when she's having fun)

I liked all of them actually, but the top three got the strongest emotional response from me. The pet photos are cute (and "Caught" makes me laugh), but cute and precocious pet photos are kinda done to death these days.

One other thing, if you expand your list to four, then "Pool" would be my fourth, because I like the cool iconic character of it.


At October 23, 2005 at 7:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

PS: The browsers I have that the banner does come up in is Safari (OS X 10.3.9 vintage). I take it that MSIE will display it, but I don't use it (not just because it's MS, but also because MS stopped Mac development in IE about two years ago, so it's an ancient artifact now).


At October 24, 2005 at 7:08:00 AM CDT, Blogger Chicken Little said...

You have rotating banners? I never noticed.


At October 24, 2005 at 10:46:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Obviously, I never got around to making new banners yet, but I will soon.

At first, these banners were visible in Firefox, then I must have changed the code somewhere, because they stopped showing up. If anyone has any clues as to why, feel free to check my source code and let me know.


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Dear Portland Traffic,

Is it just my imagination, or did the daily inbound traffic on McLoughlin Blvd. just double this week? Seriously, where did all of these people come from?

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Another Stuck Song

Yep, I have another song stuck in my head today. Actually, it's been repeating itself in there since Sunday. Seriously, it has to go.

I am not even going to say what it is, because when it does finally fade away (read: when it's replaced with another song - there's never no song), it'll come back as soon as I read the title. That's what happened last time.

At least it isn't some idiotic commercial jingle or TV theme. Those are the worst.

4 Talked Back:

At October 20, 2005 at 10:24:00 PM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

so you're not going to tell me what it was? i could start spouting off other song titles if it would help?


At October 21, 2005 at 10:01:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I guarantee you that whatever you say will be different than what's in my head.


At October 22, 2005 at 4:47:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It's gone! Gone!!!!!!!

Sadly, the song that replaced it was the weird 80's one-hit wonder "Puttin' on the Ritz". How that one got in there, I do not know. But it's better than what was there before, because it has COWBELL.


At October 22, 2005 at 11:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

i can't think of any of the words to puttin on the ritz except, well, the chorus. i can hear the tune in my head...the cowbell does it!


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I went to a bad web site today

This morning, when I sat down in my car to go to work, my head ran right into a spider web. Yes, there was a spider web inside my car. I hadn't left the windows open last night, which is good because it's been rainy. No, this spider broke the unwritten agreement between me and non-humans, which says that they will stay out of my interior spaces, and I won't hurt, torture or kill them.*

This spider knows it's done wrong. I'm sure of it. Because when I began waving my arms around to clear its web, it was nowhere to be found.

*Doesn't apply to the cats. They can come into the house without the threat of being hurt. :)

5 Talked Back:

At October 20, 2005 at 10:46:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

I park right under a tree. There are spiders in my car all the time! They've never made a web in my car, but I've walked through them on my way around to get in. Yuck!


At October 20, 2005 at 3:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I'm glad to hear this happens to people besides me. I always find spiders in my car. What's up with that?


At October 20, 2005 at 8:02:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

That's the worst! I hate when they fall down on you while you are driving... Sure way to freak me out and potentially cause an accident.

How do they get in of we keep it all closed up nice and tight? Its a mystery.


At October 20, 2005 at 10:16:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

You're back!!

I always wonder why ants don't get into cars. Like in summmertime, when windows are open, and there's crumbs all over.


At October 20, 2005 at 10:27:00 PM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

oh, ants get in. leave some french fries or something else big and fun under the seat for awhile, they'll come in.

spiders like cars cause they're inviting and spacious. but they're closed up, how do they expect to find any bugs in there? no one ever said they were the smartest animals...


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Friday, October 07, 2005

The cops should be showing up at any minute

Just in case y'all have been wondering what I've been up to for the last few days:

Stan Hits Central America and Mexico, 231 Deaths

3 Talked Back:

At October 7, 2005 at 10:02:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Would a restraining order against all y'all be in order then? B-)


At October 8, 2005 at 7:32:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

I heard about that and I figured its been keeping you pretty busy. Its probably you lost your phone and all so the media can't get a hold of you...


At October 13, 2005 at 7:20:00 AM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

nice work, mr destructo...


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Ashman, this one's for you

Hey, Scott, remember how we used to laugh at the phrase "scum bum" because we both knew it came from a bad censorship overdub of Smokey and the Bandit? (What it replaced: "son of a *****") Well, there's a new list over at McSweeney's you ought to check out:

If Yosemite Sam's Curses Were Considered Real Profanity and Were Dubbed Over for Television in the Same Clumsy, Unconvincing Manner as 1980s R-Rated Movies.

I laughed for a long time at these!

3 Talked Back:

At October 7, 2005 at 3:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Stan, I do remember that. This new list had me rolling on the floor laughing!


At October 10, 2005 at 12:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

HA! Those are funny! I love Yosemite Sam!


At October 18, 2005 at 8:06:00 AM CDT, Blogger historymike said...

Great Horney Toads!


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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Ten Eleven more things that take me back

The Pop Shoppe
Jumping bikes from the dead-end into the field
The dead tree in the Baisley’s backyard
Ghosts ‘N Goblins at Plaid Pantry
Mr. Apple Tree
Baby Pacman
167th Ave., between Wilkes Rd. and Halsey St.
Lopez Island
10,000 carpenter ants
Rice candy from Thriftway

3 Talked Back:

At October 6, 2005 at 10:48:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

Memories... I love them.


At October 7, 2005 at 2:25:00 AM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

What are "grabbers"?


At October 7, 2005 at 9:49:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I figured that someone would ask about those. My sixth grade teacher would hand out awards throughout the school year for good grades, etc. They were basically tickets or chits, or whatever, and two or three times in the year, we could trade them in for little toys. I have no idea why he called the chits "grabbers", but I suspect it's because we kids wanted to grab as many as we could.


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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Pretty much unreachable

I haven't seen my phone since Friday. On Saturday, I reckoned that it must have been left somewhere at work; yesterday, I looked all over at work (it took 15 seconds) and found nothing. I've looked everywhere it could have possible fallen in the car.

Last year, we dropped our home phone service because it didn't make sense to pay for a landline when all three of us have cell phones. Internet comes via cable. But now that I'm without that cell phone (I still have hope that it will turn up somewhere), I kind of wish we still had the service. Meanwhile, it's been pretty quiet on my end, and it's sorta nice.

14 Talked Back:

At October 4, 2005 at 12:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Did you check with those ducks and chickens? Maybe they stole your cell phone again.


At October 4, 2005 at 1:31:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...





At October 4, 2005 at 9:58:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

And I assume you rang yourself?


At October 4, 2005 at 10:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

Well that explains a lot! I tried to get you on Friday. I was starting to worry.


At October 5, 2005 at 12:02:00 AM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Bummer about the cell phone.. I'm sure it'll show up.

Sidenote: how do you put a word-verification dealy in the comments section? My blog, although sparsely updated, is often spammed. Thanks.


At October 5, 2005 at 12:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

nitsuj: Look in the Settings > Comments of your blog. There should be a Word Verification setting there.


At October 5, 2005 at 12:21:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Interstellarlass - I tried to, but I when I went to call myself with my phone, I realized it was missing... :)


At October 5, 2005 at 7:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

What with all the kids and grand kids our bloody phones never seem to stop ringing.

Enjoy the quiet while it lasts.

Checked under the sofa?



At October 5, 2005 at 12:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

HA HA. My math is bad, but "all three of us" have cell phones means there are two other cell phones...


At October 5, 2005 at 12:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yeah I know, IL, and I thought of that. But, a) the last time I saw it was Friday at work, so it'd be set to Silent mode, and b) the battery's probably dead by now.



At October 5, 2005 at 5:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

chickens and ducks... you know, like the last time you blogged about losing it... at the trampoline farm.


At October 8, 2005 at 1:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

Seriously do you have your phone back yet?? Call me from someone elses if you get a chance.


At October 13, 2005 at 7:24:00 AM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

who are the three of you living in your so-called house/apt? no one else could call your phone for you?


At October 13, 2005 at 10:16:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I forgot to mention, I found the phone in the pocket of my leather jacket. (I had worn it to work two Fridays ago, the day I lost the phone.)

The phone was set to Silent mode, so if someone had called it, it wouldn't have been heard at all. When I found the phone, indeed, it was dead.


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