Thursday, March 27, 2008

Show of hands, who else feels a little bit older?

This year marks a freaking decade since:

Has it really been that long???

1 Talked Back:

At April 6, 2008 at 8:45:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Weird that only nine days after this post, in which I hadn't actually thought about him for years until I researched it, Charlton Heston died.


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

366 Days update

Well, I’m still about three weeks behind schedule on the 366 Days project, and the reality is that it’ll be a long time before I can catch up. And that’s fine, I’m not giving up or anything. I have just been trying to think of any ways that I can speed up the process, and I think I have.

My idea means that there will be days when there is no single-panel comic, because I’ll be doing something else. What I am going to do is a little concept called Movie Grabs, which is something I have done before, as any readers of my old comic strip Joel and Steve will remember.

In that comic strip, the character of Joel Bedford was a movie reviewer for a radio station, and he freelanced reviews in a few periodicals. Accompanying each of Joel’s printed articles was always a screen shot of the film he was reviewing – well, almost. It had the title of the movie as the caption, but the image itself was something completely different, although it was related to the title in some way. For example, when he reviewed Jersey Girl, his screen shot (or Grab) was an image of a Jersey cow. The Good Shepherd, starring Matt Damon, featured a photo of Cybill Shepherd, holding a shepherd’s cane for good measure.
I’m not sure when I am going to start producing the Movie Grabs instead of single-panel comics. It will be soon, though, as soon as I can work out an easy template to work with.

And in case you are wondering, even though it’s tempting for me to just post some of the old Movie Grabs I made a few years ago, I think it would kind of be cheating, because the point is that I want to be creative every day, not just upload something merely to meet a schedule. (And yes, I know that a few of the comics I’ve posted this year were re-draws of earlier ideas, but I still created the new drawings for the project.)

Update update: Since I have been getting to bed really late all week due to drawing the comics, I have decided that I am not going to draw one tonight. If I started now, I'd realistically be in bed at 2:00 or later. I did draw a couple of things today, so I'm still keeping up with the commitment...I'm just not doing anything formally.

1 Talked Back:

At April 2, 2008 at 12:57:00 AM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Movie grabs are back! Woo!


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

You just know that someone's already thought of this

KFC offers a Famous Bowl, which is basically a plastic bowl filled with a little bit of everything on their menu.

Taco Bell has Border Bowls, filled with a little bit of nearly everything on their menu.

Don’t you think it’s only a matter of time before Pizza Hut starts selling Pizza Bowls? Then after that, McDonald’s will come out with the Quarter Pounder Bowl??!!!

2 Talked Back:

At March 26, 2008 at 2:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

They all sound like competitive eating championships.

You are a marketing genius my friend. Don't hide that light under a bushel basket!

In related news, having in a moment of weakness actually watched a competitive eating broadcast once, my stomach's being a little queasy.

be righht baaa


At April 5, 2008 at 6:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jana Swartwood said...

Well, maybe I'm just hungry right now, but that sounds really great! Do you think McDonalds would mix french fries in their Quarter Pounder Bowl, too?


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Sorry, Steve

I remember listening to Steve Martin records when I was a kid. Or maybe it was tapes. Whatever. Anyway, one of the routines he was famous for was the song “King Tut”. Born in Arizona, moved to Caledonia, that whole thing. Funky Tut.

So a few minutes ago, I heard “King Tut” in the car on (XM station) Laugh USA. And you know what? Not really that funny anymore.

1 Talked Back:

At March 26, 2008 at 2:25:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Well it is a kind of "you had to be there" sort of humor.

And it was much funnier if you got to see him on the tellywision come out in that so-dumb-it-was-funny Egyptian outfit.


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

"Agents Scully and Mulder, please come to the restroom..."

A few minutes ago, I had to go to the restroom. As I approached, I heard a familiar whirring sound through the wooden restroom door. It was the new motion-sensing paper towel dispenser, dutifully dispensing a length of towel.

However, when I pushed the door open, there was nobody in the restroom. Nobody had just come out, and there were no feet under the stalls. There were no insects flying around. It was empty except for me.

So, what in the heck triggered the motion sensor?

(For those under 30, this would be a "Muppet Show" reference)

Again with the questions already:

In the food kitchens at IKEA stores, do you think the chefs stand around all day singing, “Bork bork bork!”

Or would it be, “Børk børk børk!”

Also, do you ever wonder why the plural form of knife is knives, but the plural of chef isn’t cheves?

1 Talked Back:

At March 25, 2008 at 5:35:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

In the food kitchens at IKEA stores, do you think the chefs stand around all day singing, “Bork bork bork!”

Yep. And then they get fired because that's not what they're paid to do. And managment needs to hire a new crew to go "Bork Bork Bork!".

Or would it be, “Børk børk børk!”

No, it would be "Börk Börk Börk!", because that sound is rendered with the umlauted O in Swedish. The slash-o is actually a Danish thing.

Also, do you ever wonder why the plural form of knife is knives, but the plural of chef isn’t cheves?

Hmm ... ah, no, actually I don't. Interesting question though.



Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, March 24, 2008

I'll save the "Oronogo Flow" pun for another post

Fun fact:

Enya has sold over 70 million albums without giving a single live concert. (She’s had several individual performances, but never a full concert.)

3 Talked Back:

At March 25, 2008 at 12:49:00 AM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

Really? I would have never guessed. We all need gigs like that.

Its probably all electronically enchanced any way. Its like the wizard of Oz and they don't want to show us behind the curtain.


At March 25, 2008 at 10:49:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Enya has sold over 70 million albums without giving a single live concert

... and somehow, I don't know a single person who owns any of those albums. Heh.


At March 25, 2008 at 7:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I actually own two - Watermark and A Day Without Rain. Of course, I'm not a single person...


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Thursday, March 20, 2008

They can spend it on a cheeseburger at McDonald's

A couple of years ago, McCune Brooks Hospital began building a new facility in Carthage. While this was being planned, they made a deal with Missouri Southern State University and the Missouri State Police to sell them their old facility for $1, whereby the Police and University would convert it into a massive teaching crime lab.

Well, apparently, now that the new hospital has been built and everyone has moved over, MSSU has decided that they in fact don’t want to set up a lab in that old building. It would cost like $7 million just to repair the building, plus however many millions converting it to classrooms. It’s about the money, you see.

I sure hope McCune Brooks got their dollar back.

Oh, Nguyen the saints go marching in...

In a phone conversation at work this morning, the Vietnamese surname Nguyen came up (where I was reading it to someone else), and I pronounced it the way I learned it in high school: Like “nwen,” with only a light emphasis on the first N sound. (I had a classmate with that name who taught it to me after one too many “nah-GOO-yen”s, and his version has never been corrected when I’ve since spoken it to other people I’ve known with the same last name.)

Out of curiosity, I decided to look up the proper way of pronouncing Nguyen, figuring that because it is such a common Vietnamese surname, there would be a lot of information on the right way to say it. Many of the sites I checked out were message boards, and I was surprised to see how many variations people described. One site suggested that there were so many because of how it’s been Anglicized over the past few decades (due to the influx of Vietnamese coming here during and after the war), and because by now there’s a second generation of American-born Vietnamese children who have learned their names from their American-born parents, not their grandparents.

The funniest thing I read, and the real reason why I’m blogging about it (even though it’s probably offensive) is one message board post I read, which states:

“The first three letters (Ngu) are pronounced like the English -Sm- sound as in small. The last three letters (Yen) are pronounced like the English -Ith- sound like in the word with.”

1 Talked Back:

At March 25, 2008 at 12:51:00 AM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

HA! That was awesome. I snorted and everything after sounding it out like an idiot. :-)


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Maybe Sam Klein knows the answer to this

If AC/DC toured with Electric Light Orchestra, would it cause blackouts all over the country?

4 Talked Back:

At March 18, 2008 at 3:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

The DC part? I suspect it won't work at all. The mains in all countries are AC; DC loses too much in the transmission.

As far as the AC goes, Both ELO and AC/DC are from areas of the world where the power mains are at 240V/50Hz, and in America the mains run on 120V/60Hz, and the plugs are different, so there's going to have to be some adapter somewhere.

Maybe some fuses will blow. At the very least, they'll play the piano intro to "Evil Woman" before they do.


At March 18, 2008 at 6:36:00 PM CDT, Blogger meagan said...

And maybe they'll sing "The Body Electric" (from Fame) while they're at it.


At March 18, 2008 at 11:10:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

If it were to cause a blackout, they'd have to call Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark.

Unless, of course, they had The Power Station waiting backstage...


At March 19, 2008 at 12:22:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

And why not? After DD re-debuting with the original lineup, Andy Taylor quit on them again. So, not only it's kind of like the mid-80s again, Andy Taylor needs a gig.

It's a kind of win-win.


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, March 17, 2008

I don't like it, I don't love it, I don't want no more of it

Pop music/Top 40 radio stations will usually only play the most recent hit songs, and basically overplay them until the listeners are completely sick of them. Then, when new songs are released, they’ll mercifully bump the old ones out of rotation and into oblivion (where they’ll begin new life on those other stations that play “the hits from the 80’s, 90’s and today”).

Country stations, however, will also play the top hits of today (to excess), but they still keep playing those way-overplayed hits from the last 15 years or so, almost as often as when they were released. I’m still hearing “She’s In Love With The Boy,” “Any Man of Mine” and “Love Without End, Amen” at least once a day on my office neighbor’s too-loud radio.

So, are there just not as many new country songs being released? Or are there just no appropriate “graveyard” stations to take over when the hits have run their course?


Ever have one of theose datys when you just can;’t find the righg keys on the keyboaerd??

Friday, March 14, 2008

It's time to let it go

I’ll probably never make it to either the North Pole or the South Pole in my lifetime.

I’m okay with that.

1 Talked Back:

At March 14, 2008 at 12:19:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Fortunately, the East and West Poles are still attainable.

Don't give up!


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Don't get any ideas, now

Here’s another one:

If you were in an accident that caused you such serious trauma that you were declared legally dead, but while your body was waiting on a gurney to be taken downstairs to the morgue, you miraculously woke up and recovered...could you still collect the life insurance money?

1 Talked Back:

At March 15, 2008 at 8:09:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jana Swartwood said...

Possibly...but can you IMAGINE what your premiums would be for the rest of your (second) life?


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Here's another question

If your property fell on the border between two states...and your next-door, next-state neighbor had a lot of fruit trees right at the fence with branches that hung over to your side...and those trees bore lots of fruit that you could harvest without crossing the property line...and you made delicious jams and jellies from that fruit...and you somehow produced enough jars that you could sell them in a local store... then to which state would you have to pay sales tax?

2 Talked Back:

At March 14, 2008 at 12:22:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

how tall were the trees?


At March 15, 2008 at 8:11:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jana Swartwood said...

One might also wonder (1) if the local store is in your state and (2) if someone died of food poisoning from eating your jam in the other state, could they arrest you while you were in your state?


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Because I'm too lazy to look it up on

Why is shortening called shortening? What, if anything, does it shorten?


4 Talked Back:

At March 12, 2008 at 10:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger Amber said...

It's because shortening, like other fats, is able to shorten the gluten strands that form when water is added to flour and the resulting mixture is agitated (as in kneading or mixing). A shorter, weaker gluten strand and gluten matrix results in more flakiness and tenderness, which is desirable in pie crusts and pastries, for which shortening is most often used.


At March 12, 2008 at 11:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I went to high school with a kid who looked like he put shortening in his hair every morning. He never got any shorter.


At March 14, 2008 at 12:32:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Amber is correct but the understanding that shortening inhibits the formation of long protein (gluten) strands came much later than the origins of the term, it's just coincidental.

Butter, lard, and margarine are called shortening because they promote a "short" or crumbly texture -- as in shortbread.


At March 17, 2008 at 12:29:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nicole said...

Doesn't it shorten your life expectancy? Or at least the amount of time before you experience your first heart attack?


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, March 10, 2008

I think he's a double agent

Last Friday, the Portland Trail Blazers won their game against the Milwaukee Bucks with a close score of 103-101. After the game, Portland coach Nate McMillan talked about the improvement of his team over last season, and his goal of continued improvement in years to come. His quote:

“It’s a process and that’s what we talk about. We want to continue to improve each year. The goal is to bring a championship back to this city.”

Oh, by the way, he was in Milwaukee when he said this, not Portland. Oops.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Just a few of the songs stuck in my head this week

I never know why these show up or where they come from.

1. Theme from “Dallas” – well, this was actually stuck in Nicole’s head first.

2. “Head to Toe” by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

3. “Crucify” by Orange County Supertones

4. Theme from “Family Feud”

5. “Creamy White Bean” – not a real song. Yesterday around lunch time, my brain was repeating just a beat without a song – a house beat, like I’ve heard in so many Podrunner podcasts – and I happened to be looking at the lunch menu in the cafeteria. The soup was Creamy White Bean. Without even realizing it, I started adding these words to the beat: Do you want to get some Creamy White Bean? No I don’t want any Creamy White Bean. Why don’t you want any Creamy White Bean? ’Cause I don’t like the Creamy White Bean. And I started to laugh to myself. Then, at Nicole’s desk, I told her about it, and she got it stuck in her head...and now, I guess it might be stuck in yours...sorry.

2 Talked Back:

At March 8, 2008 at 8:07:00 PM CST, Blogger Jim said...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.


At March 14, 2008 at 11:27:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

M'na m'na (do do do do-do)
M'na m'na (do do do do)
M'na m'na (do do, da-doodoo, da-doodoo, da-doodoo, da-doo-doo-doo-doo do do do-do do).



Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Only about three weeks behind, but I'm back!

Since we just got cable and Internet hooked up at the duplex today - and only three weeks after ordering the service! - I can now resume my drawing duties. Actually, I have been drawing this whole time. Just not comics right now. Thanks to Samuel John Klein's post about Scott Teplin's work, I've been inspired to do some actual ink-on-paper art.

After looking through some of Teplin's archived sketchbooks and gallery pieces, it's clear that his style and mine are similar in many ways. If it wasn't for the fact that he'd done them first, I could totally have seen myself inventing and drawing the alphabet-shaped dwellings he's working on now. But alas, I must be different. I do have some ideas for new projects, some involving this here blog (it's due for a makeover) and possibly marketable works.

The biggest concern of mine when it comes to these projects is my own patience. It's so easy for me to start a piece and then draw it like I need to have it finished immediately. The quality of the artwork suffers greatly when I produce it in haste. What I need to do is to be perfectly okay with one drawing taking a few days, or even weeks to complete. There's no rush. (The comics, on the other hand, I'd like to have them done before the day is out.) I also need to get a good scanner so I can show you my progress whenever I can. Actually, we have a scanner, but I haven't personally tested it out yet. It may work just fine for what I need.

Meantime, let's hope that I can get back on track with my 366 Days of Creativity. We're already up to the end of Day 65, yet I've only just finished comic #47. Here's a little piece of it (click to see the whole thing):

Last, but not least, happy birthday to my sister Julie!

4 Talked Back:

At March 6, 2008 at 11:25:00 PM CST, Blogger Katie said...

Welcome home to your new place sans the parents! Fantastic!!! Maybe I should come for a visit?


At March 6, 2008 at 11:38:00 PM CST, Blogger stan said...

Yes yes yes! Please do! We'd love for you to come visit...that would be awesome!


At March 7, 2008 at 10:07:00 AM CST, Blogger Nicole said...

I agree! We really would love for you to come and visit! Surely you have enough miles by now for a side trip to Missouri :) !


At March 11, 2008 at 11:46:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

Sadly not enough miles yet... I somehow keep missing trips to China that would have bumped me up nicely. But soon enough I'll have some, and that's a good idea of how I can use them. :-)


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Twelve food-named cities.

Appleton, Wisconsin, pop. 70,212

Chicken, Alaska, pop. 170

Citrus Heights, California, pop. 85,071

Coffeeville, Alabama, pop. 360

Corn, Oklahoma, pop. 591

Olive Hill, Kentucky, pop. 1,813

Orange, New Jersey, pop. 31,858

Rice, Texas, pop. 798

White Salmon, Washington, pop. 2,193

Sandwich, Massachusetts, pop. 20,136

Tea, South Dakota, pop. 1,742

Toast, North Carolina, pop. 1,922

And just for grins...

American Fork, Utah, pop. 21,941

Pitcher, New York, pop. 848

2 Talked Back:

At March 5, 2008 at 12:55:00 AM CST, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

There's a place in Covington Co., Mississippi (in the south central part of the state) called Hot Coffee.

It's an unincorporated wide-spot-in-the-road, but they do keep a pot of hot coffee on in the general store all the time, even during summer, which is the last time in the universe that you'd want a steamy cup of piping hot coffee, but there's tourism for you.


At March 17, 2008 at 12:34:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nicole said...

Last summer I read two books by photographer Gary Gladstone -- Passing Gas and Reaching Climax. Both books have a bunch of pictures from towns all over the U.S. that have strange names. I remember Hot Coffee was in one of them, but I can't remember which one. I'm thinking it was Passing Gas because Reaching Climax, not surprisingly, seemed to specialize in innuendos.


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Dumb question

Do you ever wonder why you never see anyone with the last name Hitler anymore? I mean, I’m sure that most people who had that name changed it so as not to be associated with one of the most evil human beings the world’s ever seen. But surely there must be a handful of brave people who have said to themselves, “Just because I’m named Hitler doesn’t mean I can’t be a kind, loving, compassionate, decent human being.”

If I hear "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" one more time...

I mean what’s the deal here? Am I the only one in the office who’s heard of the Silent/Vibrate mode on a cell phone???

Furthermore, you’re all grown adults, and most of you are over 40. You should at least have more generation-appropriate ringtones.

3 Talked Back:

At March 4, 2008 at 2:05:00 PM CST, Blogger Nicole said...

And I'm stuck over here with:

"Whoa! Do you think you wanna get some? Jiggy, jiggy."


"What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more."

I'd just be satisfied if they'd just lower the volume a little.


At March 4, 2008 at 5:00:00 PM CST, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

What drives me around the bend is the people who have long pointless hip-hop on thier voice-mail announcements.

And then there's the long voice menu tellling you how to leave a message, which is lucky for me, as I've not had to leave a message on someone's phone for ... oh, two or so hours, and I've completely forgotten how.


At March 6, 2008 at 11:23:00 PM CST, Blogger Katie said...

YES I KNOW THE PAIN!!! There is a song in my area right now I don't even know but it makes my skin crawl. Its not a hip hop one though its some annoying ballad.

I keep my volume down and vibrate for the sanity of all around me. Its polite people!


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, March 03, 2008

Forgot to title this lame

The thing about not having cable in Oronogo is that there are only two stations that come in at all, and they’re pretty fuzzy (no point). Fortunately, there was still cable and a DVR at the old place, so yesterday when we went over there to do some things, we were finally able to watch the new Knight Rider movie that aired two or three Sundays ago. Glad to see that they’re resurrecting the story, and that Michael Knight even made an appearance to pass the torch to the new guy. It’s too bad, though, that The Hoff looked absolutely terrible. Must have been too many turbo boosts in the old KITT.

Happy 08063, and how's your Monday going?

When I process a certain type of document at work, I have to write the date and the document number in the corner of the first page. The date is written in Julian date format, which is a five-digit number where the first two digits are the year, and the other three are the day number (001-366) of the year.

So last Thursday was 08059. Last Friday, 08060.

Apparently last Friday I thought it was 08059, because I wrote it on all of my documents for the day. And not just one or two, either.

135 pages.


Sunday, March 02, 2008

Painful equation, it makes my head hurt




(Bled a little, but I'm fine.)

1 Talked Back:

At March 2, 2008 at 7:33:00 PM CST, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Ouchie, indeed.

You know, you look a little like ELO's Jeff Lynne (ca Xanadu) in that photo.

I'd hang on to those shades. You fairly rock them.


Okay, now it's your turn | Home