Monday, September 26, 2005

The one and only list I'll ever do

I normally don't do these lists (I avoid calling them memes because I can't stand that word), but this is about blogging itself; so, in the interest of giving you, fair reader, a better sense of my blogging approach, I present this list. (Copied from Chicken Little's blog, Chicken Fried Life)

Blogging about... Blogging

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? (edited) I shop at Winco, where most customers don't even know what a computer is, much less a blog.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? Unaltered, at least the ones with me actually in them

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? Hasn't happened, but bring on the dorks; no creeps, please.

4. Do you lie in your blog? There's not enough room in here to sit, much less lie down.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? I don't know...maybe someone will tell me what that means.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? I wouldn't do that, honest.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? No, and probably not.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? I delete spam and inappropriate subject matter. I edit and repost comments with swearing. I don't fake nice comments.

9. [This question is not appropriate subject matter for this blog.]

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? I don't know, I'm kind of a dork. They might find me more boring, if anything.

11. Do you have a job? For now.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? Oh yes, and I'd try to post 100 times a day.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? See the "Blogs I Read" column at right. Pretty much those people. Dave Barry would be cool to meet. Maybe the Anonymous Lawyer, even though he's probably a jerk :)

14. Which bloggers have you made out with? Exactly zero. Unless there's an old girlfriend with a blog that I don't know about.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? I'm pretty much always poor. No secrets there.

16. Does your family read your blog? I know my mom does sometimes, maybe some extended family. I keep my blog clean so that my 92-year-old grandma wouldn't be offended if she were to read it.

17. How old is your blog? I started it in June 2003 but didn't blog in earnest until February 2005. I started all of my other blogs this year.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care? No, I get anywhere from 20 to 100 a day, and I don't care about that. I check the stats mainly to see what humorous web searches brought people here.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? I have several non-public blogs. One is an image dump and template tester. One is supposed to be for the county letterhead project (which I'm giving up, by the way). One is for another project idea along the lines of Stuff on My Cat (but with no cats).

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? No

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? Nothing to claim.

22. Is blogging narcissistic? I suppose it can be. (HEY EVERYONE, COME AND SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK)

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? By long time, you mean like more than 6 hours since the last post? Maybe if it's been a couple of days. Six hours, no. I do keep telling myself it's time for a week off (but not to get attention - see #6).

24. Do you like John Mayer? I don't even like Oscar Mayer.

25. Do you have enemies? Not as far as I know.

26. Are you lonely? Sometimes, but not usually.

27. Why bother? Because.

12 Talked Back:

At September 26, 2005 at 4:53:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Sorry, I didn't mean to cuss on your blog the other day. Please forgive me. :( sniff, sniff

I so wish I could get paid to blog. That would be awesome! Better than what I do now anyway.


At September 26, 2005 at 5:43:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

The question #10,
I know you in person, and I don't think you're a dork. If I thought you were a dork, I guess that would make me a dork too, since we were roommates at one time, no, make that two times :)


At September 26, 2005 at 6:29:00 PM CDT, Blogger Chicken Little said...

I'm glad you liked this meme. I didn't make up the questions.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? By long time, you mean like more than 6 hours since the last post?
The second question is part of my answer, only the first part is actually the question.

And I'll try to remember to keep it clean on your blog. I work with a lot of unsavoury characters and hear unsuitable language all day long.


At September 26, 2005 at 7:00:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Chicken little - On #23, consider that your contribution, thus full credit can now go to you! (I saw that you had a source for your list too...I just didn't want to daisy-chain the credits)

Scott: It's all subjective, I guess. One person's dork is another person's non-dork. :)


At September 27, 2005 at 1:06:00 AM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

You make me giggle... There are in fact not a lot of people at Win Co. who have computers!


At September 28, 2005 at 5:13:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Okay, I give up: Who's John Mayer?

Ignorant am I.


At September 29, 2005 at 1:17:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I don't know. A famous blogger, I'm guessing. I'm too lazy to Google the name....


At September 29, 2005 at 5:30:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

I'm too lazy too, altho' his name is ringing a bell. I'm so lazy I'm not going to acknowlede it.

I hereby nominate tag him "The Fifth Beatle" and call it happy.


At September 29, 2005 at 8:54:00 AM CDT, Blogger Chicken Little said...

OK, you all got my curiosity up. Apparently he's a musician. And apparently he is supposed to sound similar to Dave Matthews. Yeah, I still have no clue who he is.


At September 29, 2005 at 10:03:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

If he sounds like Dave Matthews, I probably don't want to know who he is (Sorry, Katie).


At September 29, 2005 at 11:24:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

He's not like Dave Matthews at all in my opinion. It's mellow, but not cheesy. I like him very much.


At October 1, 2005 at 5:00:00 PM CDT, Blogger historymike said...

1. Completely oblivious to how I look at the grocery store, except for a shirt without mustard stains.
11. Yes, 4 jobs. My blog is a way to cross-promote myself.
15. Have always had exactly enough money to eat and keep the mortgage paid. Don't know if that's luck, grand design, or Providence.
17. My blogs are all 3-5 months old.
18. Funny - 1000 daily views. My blog generates, on a really good day, 100 page views. Building slowly...
19. I have an alter-ego that I am keeping a distance from because his blog-skewering could result in a mountain of lawsuits.
21. Have not yet made a single cent. I'll worry about that if/when revenue actually comes in.
23. Yes, I set a goal of maintaining no less than a one-day absence. Can't stand the guilt.


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Friday, September 23, 2005

It (Was) Jim

The blogosphere won't be the same without your Silly Observations About The Obviously Silly.

As Patsy Cline once said to Loretta Lynn, "Always leave 'em wantin' more. Never give an encore."

Take care, buddy.

14 Talked Back:

At September 23, 2005 at 6:44:00 PM CDT, Blogger Andrew said...

This is terrible!

Jim made us all feel so much like friends, and created a warm (if quirky) community for us to share.

I wish he'd allow us to post "goodbye" comments. :(


At September 23, 2005 at 6:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Yeah, it's kind of odd. But more sad! So, thanks Stan for letting us post goodbye comments here! Not goodbye to you, though. That'd be sad too.


At September 23, 2005 at 7:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I tried to e-mail him, but it just came back.


At September 23, 2005 at 7:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

He must really want to get off the grid then. Maybe the mothership's calling him and Rooty back home :)


At September 23, 2005 at 8:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger Chicken Little said...

I just tried emailing him too. I feel bad, like someone I know just died. I don't get any closure this way. Wish I knew more. Anyway, Jim, if you get to read this, stop in sometimes! Miss you already.


At September 23, 2005 at 10:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I've tried to e-mail him at another address that I know of (please don't ask me for it), but he might not even check it. If he does, I have a goodbye on behalf of all of us. I'll let you all know if I hear back from him.


At September 24, 2005 at 11:26:00 AM CDT, Blogger The Phoenix said...

Sounds like he might have completely unplugged from cyber world. Maybe it's just temporary.


At September 25, 2005 at 4:07:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

It's not over. We will continue it!


At September 25, 2005 at 11:51:00 PM CDT, Anonymous [samuel john klein] said...


I just found the party and it's like, over?

Crap. Crap-a-de-crapcrapcrap.

(Edited for language, come on folks)


At September 27, 2005 at 1:18:00 AM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Dang get back from vacation and he's gone.

Hope things are well.



At September 27, 2005 at 2:31:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Welcome back Mik...hope you bought a good supply of pens


At September 27, 2005 at 4:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Er, yeah, I found a lot of my drawing pens and fountain pens stashed at the folks house and stuffed them all in my hand baggage. So yep brought lots of pens back.



At September 28, 2005 at 9:41:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...


(Edited for language, come on folks)

My apologies. I didn't realized I'd crossed the threshold.

Sincere apologies to everyone. I'll not let that happen again.


At October 1, 2005 at 4:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger Chicken Little said...

Not that it changes things, but I noticed from my stats that Jim had dropped by my site briefly. Didn't say anything, and if I hadn't known who it was I would have missed it. So I'm assuming he's alive.


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Watch out, Stan is next in line

I just read that under the current World Meteorological Organization naming system, the next hurricane/typhoon/cyclonic storm to hit after Rita will be Hurricane Stan.


3 Talked Back:

At September 23, 2005 at 6:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Maybe Hurricane Stan will be the odd west coast hurricane.

Did you notice Hurricane Jim is gone?

love meagan


At September 24, 2005 at 6:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger historymike said...


Will it be a hellstorm like Katrina, or wimpy like Ophelia?


At September 24, 2005 at 8:20:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

I heard it was next up on the radion and I got excited. Because it must be a good one if its getting your name!


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Puzzle Pirate humor

I was playing Puzzle Pirates last night, and my character, Bluto, was on the docks waiting for a chance to board my crew's ship. Meantime, another character walks up and stands in my circle, allowing her to chat with me. (I usually avoid this, but she'd already invaded, and I didn't want to be rude.)

Girl Player: u r sexy
Bluto: uh, okay

So I'm already thinking that this is an unsupervised pre-teen girl, who is clearly playing the game for the wrong reasons, and just as I'm about to step away, she challenges me to a game of Treasure Drop (which is a game that's sort of like Plinko on "The Price is Right"). I accept the challenge, betting 20 pieces of eight (very small bet). Then, in the middle of the game...

Girl Player: wanna kiss?
Bluto: I think not
Bluto: Besides, you wouldn't want to, I have barnacles in my beard
Girl Player: what's a barnacle?

I about fell off my chair laughing. A minute later, once it was established that I was clearly going to win the game, she dropped out, leaving me 20 poe richer.

B-bye, then. Don't let the plank hit ya on the way down.

9 Talked Back:

At September 24, 2005 at 8:27:00 PM CDT, Blogger Katie said...

First off I find it funny you play an interactive pirate game! Second the girl sounds like real quality. Be careful out there!


At September 25, 2005 at 9:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I tried playing puzzle pirates once, way back when you were first mentioning it. I didn't get into it though :-( With this and the comment on your other blog it sounds like so much fun; I should try again!


At September 25, 2005 at 9:45:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

I had a weird experience like that on puzzle pirates, only not so funny

Girl Player: Lets get married!
El Froggo: Who are you?
Girl Player: Lets get married!
El Froggo: is that even possible?
Girl Player: I dont think so but lets go into mainland and get married!


At September 25, 2005 at 11:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

What's your character name Froggo, I'll look for you


At September 26, 2005 at 9:16:00 AM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

I go by boatmaster


At September 26, 2005 at 6:15:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

No wait masterboat, I keep mixing it up.


At September 26, 2005 at 7:43:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

Oh I got a question! Did you pay money to get all the good features?


At September 27, 2005 at 2:35:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

No, I am on the subscription ocean Midnight, as I suspect you are (unless there's another person with the name Masterboat on that ocean). If you're there, look for Bluto or Dingle. Those are my characters.


At September 28, 2005 at 11:40:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

I just found out how the subscription system works, and I dont even have a subscription, Im just living off the trial.


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Thursday, September 22, 2005

You want a sandwich, baby?

I have no idea what the overall concept behind Bologna Baby is.

Is it bologna for babies? Do you eat it while calling someone "baby"? Is it made out of babies???

7 Talked Back:

At September 22, 2005 at 7:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...



At September 22, 2005 at 10:41:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I think it's cheese.


At September 22, 2005 at 11:18:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

scary what the condiments might be


At September 23, 2005 at 10:27:00 AM CDT, Anonymous (JLee5) said...

WHERE do you find this ****??? Maybe it has the HEALTHY meat "by products" especially for babies...

(edited for language)


At September 23, 2005 at 10:32:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It was in the regular sausage section of Winco's meat case (there's the Hillshire Farms right behind it). And yes, it's meat, I think.

You know how bologna is a freaky pink color? This is the same pink, only 3 shades lighter. The color, as best as my camera could capture it, is right next to the Red Square logo.

Hmm, I wonder if the brand name Red Square means anything...


At September 23, 2005 at 11:32:00 AM CDT, Anonymous (InterstellarLass) said...

It probably has 25% less lips and [not lips]...

(watch the language people!)


At September 25, 2005 at 12:31:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Whenever we go to Winco's me and The Wife™ go through the meat section and I see this...this...item (if, indeed, that is what it is) and I hold it up and show it to The Wife™ and say "d'you see this!?!?!" and she wants to kill me.

But what am I going to do, man....


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Kansas City via the Mediterranean

Forgive me if I'm just not up to speed on European culture, but if I'm not mistaken, the continent is not known for its barbecue, right?

Imagine my surprise as I saw this sign while driving home one day:

I Googled the restaurant, and on one site, it's noted that Ararat's specialties are Armenian, Belly Dancing, Live Music, Mediterranean, and Russian. To me, none of those conjures up images of a guy in a chef's hat turning succulent ribs over a grill.

I guess I'll have to investigate. Oddly enough, something tells me that the sign might be correct. After all, one of the best pizza places in Portland is run by Greeks. Mmm, barbecued lamb.

2 Talked Back:

At September 22, 2005 at 11:36:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

There's a Chinese restaurant by my mom's house that sells French pastries.


At September 26, 2005 at 4:17:00 PM CDT, Blogger PDXFoodDude said...

I noticed the same thing and thought the sign was really weird. I've noticed there is never anyone eating there so just figured they are getting desperate. Next week, Chinese!


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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Four blocks of sunshine

The four-block walk between my parking garage and the office is an interesting one.

The first block is next to a high-end, off-road vehicle dealer, and they always have several trucks parked at sharp angles on man-made rock formations to show how mountain-y they are.

The second block is home to strange objects lying about on the sidewalk, which for some reason I have felt compelled to chronicle.

The third block is a dead-end street that butts up against the light rail tracks, and I frequently see cars go in there thinking it's a through street, only to have to turn around, embarrassed because they know that people dozens of floors up are probably watching their mistake.

The fourth block is the one the office is on. It's at the far end, and I have to first pass by a coffee shop (where everything except the caramel milk steamer is horribly bitter), and two small parking garage entrances. Also, there is usually a mysterious sewer smell that floats around there, which I would imagine would drive some people away from the coffee shop.

Well, today, the walk was different. There were no weird objects in block two, nobody got lost in the dead-end, and the last block smelled not like sewage, but like blackberries. It's gonna be a good day.

1 Talked Back:

At September 20, 2005 at 10:50:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Ah, the day was throwing you a curve-ball, eh? I wish I could walk to work. Blackberries is a much nicer smell than sewer.


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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Cherry Coke and Compoders

I've been best friends with Dave since early 1989, when we both moved to Oregon City within four months of each other. Since we were new to the high school, it was natural for us to hang out together. Our moving to new locations became a running theme for us, since in the 16+ years hence, we've each moved over 10 times to different homes in the Portland area.

On one of Dave's earliest moves, we were treated with Cherry Coke and a brand of cheese puffs called Compadres. Being high school kids with no adherence to proper nutrition, these were our favorite junk food. For fun, we changed the pronunciation to "compoders", joking about their two ingredients of "styrofoam and artificial cheese parts." Those two junk foods became the official symbol for one of us moving, even if neither of us eats that crap anymore. All we have to do now is e-mail the following image, and the news has been delivered: It's moving time.

This time around, it's not me, but Dave who's found a new space. Today, I get to help him transport his and his four boys' belongings there.

1 Talked Back:

At September 19, 2005 at 12:06:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Four boys! Wow! That's something.


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Friday, September 16, 2005


It's Scott's birthday

1 Talked Back:

At September 16, 2005 at 4:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Thanks for the hint!


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Time, Love & Tenderness & Goodwill

Every 72 seconds of each workday, Goodwill places someone in a good job. They also employ many disabled people, some of whom wouldn't be able to find work elsewhere because of their disability. Good for them!

Apparently Michael Bolton, circa 1991, also works there. (Sorry about the rain in the pic.)

6 Talked Back:

At September 16, 2005 at 4:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

You sure that's Bolton or just his hair?


At September 16, 2005 at 4:25:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yes, it's either Michael Bolton or his hair.


At September 16, 2005 at 4:56:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

who's Michael Bolton?


At September 16, 2005 at 6:58:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Michael Bolton


At September 19, 2005 at 12:06:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Please tell me he was joking about not knowing Michael Bolton?!?!


At September 19, 2005 at 1:43:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

If he didn't know Michael Bolton, he was probably better off.


Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Thursday, September 15, 2005

This post contains 100% post-consumer material

Okay, how weird is this, I'm making a blog post containing nothing but comments made on someone else's blog. It's just that this comment exchange is one of the funniest I've ever been involved with.


Meagan: I thought it was cigarettes. Thought, "boy, that man's got a serious addiction." I thought that all the way up until I read Jim's text saying it was corn. Then I had to look closer before I believed him. I guess I need to get my eyes checked. Hey! Maybe that's why I keep falling!

Jim: Meagan -- where are you and Nena hanging out that you see maggots everywhere?????? cigarettes? big yellow cigarette???? did you hit your head when you fell, and then fell again??? hope you are feeling better!!!!!


stan: Jim - Catching up on these comments, I about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw your comment to Meagan, big yellow cigarettes and hitting her head when she fell. Not that Meagan hitting her head would be funny, I just think it was the overabundance of ???????? that got me :)

Jim: for first time visitors, do not be confused, Stan is just easily amused by punctuation marks, semi-colons make him pee

Guilty as charged; whoops; WHOOPS.

Jillian: Stan -- LOL!

Jim: Stan -- let's see if we can dehydrate you --

stan: *shrivels* Okay, nobody make a "winking" emoticon until I replenish.

2 Talked Back:

At September 15, 2005 at 10:58:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Meagan -- don't bother to ask for a royalty, he'll just try to pay you in nickels or hair


At September 16, 2005 at 12:26:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Oh my goodness!!!!! (check out all those punctuation marks)

All the fabulous things I miss when I'm gone from my computer all day! I need to stay posted 24-7 so I can get in on these fabulous conversations.

Good, good friends. That's what you guys are.

love meagan


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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Shirt Watch, Day 1

I don't know what it is about this particular city block that attracts so many random objects to its sidewalks. Last night I saw this shirt in the street, right next to the curb, and I just knew it'd be there again this morning.

The fact that it's now on the sidewalk leads me to believe that someone got out of their car and moved the shirt up to the sidewalk to clear it from their parking space.

UPDATE: At 5pm, the shirt was gone. False alarm, false alarm.

4 Talked Back:

At September 14, 2005 at 1:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...



At September 14, 2005 at 3:26:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

is it following the same trajectory as the filter?


At September 14, 2005 at 4:07:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

So far, due east (street to sidewalk). The filter was on a SSE trajectory


At September 14, 2005 at 4:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

oh no, a second front


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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

O Stanny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

My cultural heritage is all over the European map. I suppose most dominant would be Norwegian, but there is also some Polish, English and Irish in there (among other, smaller fractions - I wouldn't be surprised to be 1/256 Liechtensteinian).

Well, I don't know what it is about September that brings out the Irish in me. Perhaps it's the cooling of the weather, or the increasing clouds over the greenery, or who knows. All I know is that around this time of year, I really like to listen to Celtic music.

A few years ago, it was 1996, I think, there was a Celtic music festival at Champoeg Park (pronounced "shampooey") southwest of town, and I went with my then-girlfriend to take in the authentic and beautiful sounds. Note that this was also around when Riverdance became popular, which brought a spotlight to Irish/Celtic music in general, and, in turn, I started appreciating the genre. Well, the turnout for the festival was much lower than anyone expected it to be, mainly because of the downpouring rain that dominated the weekend. I felt like such a die-hard fan for staying, even though my interest was still new. The only stage was in an amphitheater, and most of the audience (only in the tens) were huddled under umbrellas. My girlfriend and I were fully under a tarp, unable to see the stage.

After a couple of hours, we gave up our struggle to remain dry, even though we wanted to stay all day (and we missed the Solas show, which was the one I really wanted to see). We drove back in the warm rain to her house, where she lived with five other roommates. Nice conversations and cocoa, and some of us played Scrabble, with the window open to hear the rain dance on the trees outside.

And now, as September is upon us again, it's the only time of the year that I look forward to rain, because the first rain is always the best. And I'll sit in my house with the front door ajar...the sounds of rain in one ear, of the uilleann pipes, tin whistle, fiddle and bodhrán in the other.

8 Talked Back:

At September 13, 2005 at 1:05:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

so, every 256th day you do the polka?


At September 13, 2005 at 1:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Oh, absolutely, polka party to the extreme!


At September 13, 2005 at 2:44:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

what happened to the curly locks? an odd way to try to lose weight, how much can hair weigh?


At September 13, 2005 at 2:53:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

The curly locks are still in the bathroom garbage can. I can dig them out and send them to you if you want 'em.

Postage'd be cheap, they weigh next to nothing


At September 13, 2005 at 3:05:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

sure, send them, I'll try to sell them on eBay


At September 13, 2005 at 5:59:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...


i am no longer the stalker.

now jim is.

selling hair on ebay is insta-stalker status


At September 13, 2005 at 6:06:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

At least my stalkers are nice people :)


At September 13, 2005 at 7:45:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I guess, now that I think of it, your true stalkers would be those that BUY your hair more than those that SELL it.


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Monday, September 12, 2005

The coolest keyboard I've ever seen

Imagine a keyboard with tiny little "monitors" on each key that display the context of what it represents within the application you are working on, or the language you are typing in.

Typing in Russian? The keys show up in a Cyrillic alphabet. Working in Photoshop? Icons of the shortcut keys appear in their respective locations.

I cannot wait for this to hit the market. Well, to hit the market, lose its novelty, and come down in price.

9 Talked Back:

At September 12, 2005 at 7:56:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

How much is that bad boy?


At September 12, 2005 at 8:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I don't know yet; I don't think it's even been brought to market. The site (click the post title) says it'd be less expensive than a good cell phone, which I interpret as a couple hundred bucks.


At September 12, 2005 at 11:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan -- here is an interview with the founder of the Russian company -- note the price! -- I want one NOW

Art. Lebedev Studio


At September 13, 2005 at 12:29:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Thanks for the link, I'll get a paper route, collect old beer cans, sell plasma, anything, to get one of these.

Well, maybe not the plasma. I like my plasma.


At September 13, 2005 at 12:31:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

think it's the same plasma they make TV's out of


At September 13, 2005 at 6:33:00 AM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

The Photoshop keyboard would be too cool! There's too much stuff on that program for me to remember it all. If it was on the keyboard...geez, I'd be in business.


At September 13, 2005 at 5:34:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Must. Have. Toy.

PS: Stan, you gete a haircut lately?


At September 13, 2005 at 5:44:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

A couple of days ago. I usually do it about every six months. Cheap and easy!


At September 14, 2005 at 10:14:00 AM CDT, Blogger Chicken Little said...

I want this so much! I'm waiting for it to show up in the stores!


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A better shot of a smoking bus

Yeah, you know who was also turning left? That's right, me. Cough cough cough.

9 Talked Back:

At September 12, 2005 at 2:29:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

if you keep taking pictures of school kids the police are going to beat you senseless


At September 12, 2005 at 2:53:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

The buses are empty when they're in front of me, as the bus barn is right along my route to work. That's why I see so many of them.

No kids on board. Although a few minutes later I actually saw a car with a Baby on Board sign in the window - didn't those go out of style in the 80's?


At September 12, 2005 at 4:45:00 PM CDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey LOOK I'm making a comment on your blog! I know you are so excited. Don't rip on diesels too much... I drive one remember. Though my little plume of smoke is nothing compared with that bus. YUCK. But I do pity any convertible drivers when they get behind me. My windows stay up for a reason.


At September 12, 2005 at 4:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

No, Katie, I like your diesel. It doesn't belch out blue smoke like those buses in the morning.

For what it's worth, and I know I've told you this before, I really like truck stops. The feeling of getting out and stretching after four hours behind the wheel. The large store/restaurant offering everything under the sun for sale. And yes, the faint diesel fumes of idling semitrucks on the tarmac.

It's all about context.


At September 12, 2005 at 5:34:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

...katie posted on my blog first...


At September 12, 2005 at 5:45:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Cool. I'm not really keeping score, you know.


At September 12, 2005 at 5:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I know. I was just being silly.


At September 12, 2005 at 9:05:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

gee-tar time Meagan, write a song about Stan or busses


At September 12, 2005 at 10:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I just got back from gee-tar class!! Honored that you remembered, Jim!

"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round and spit exhaust on Stan."

That is a 2-chord song. Therefore, I can play it.


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Saturday, September 10, 2005

Another rejected McSweeney's list

By Stan W. Kost

Halve it your way

Real women halve curves

Girls just want to halve fun

The hills halve eyes

Now that I halve you

To halve and to hold

I halve an idea

It's a must-halve

Halve a good time

It's a must-halve

Do you halve the time?

The ayes halve it

I'll halve what she's halving

What halve you

I don't halve a clue

I halve you right where I want you

I want to halve a baby

3 Talked Back:

At September 10, 2005 at 6:58:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Is this the list you subtly mentioned in a previous post and said you wouldn't tell us about until they rejected or accepted it?

Those people at McSweeney's halve no brains if they reject you.



At September 11, 2005 at 12:06:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

p.s. Stan: be sure to check out my cockadoodledoo post again because there's a comment from katie there directed toward you! :-)


At September 11, 2005 at 2:09:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yes Meagan this was the list. They won't put up reviously "published" material, so I waited to post it.


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Friday, September 09, 2005

Pouvez-vous dire le "plein plat"?*

It's the second post this week with a French title! And I don't speak French at all!

At Roger Ebert's suggestion, I took a look at the IMDb page for Luc Besson, and he's right - Besson is the hardest working man in show business. For 2005 and 2006 alone, this is what he's been involved with:

  1. Dunsinane (2005: producer)
  2. Flora Plum (2005: producer)
  3. Spécial police (2005: producer)
  4. Quand j'étais chanteur (2006: producer)
  5. Love and Other Disasters (2006: executive producer)
  6. Arthur and the Minimoys (2006: producer)
  7. "Valérian et Laureline" TV Series (2006: producer)
  8. Dikkenek (2006: executive producer, uncredited)
  9. Filles du botaniste chinois, Les (2005: co-producer, uncredited)
  10. Boîte noire, La (2005: producer)
  11. Bunker paradise (2005: associate producer)
  12. Colour Me Kubrick (2005: co-producer)
  13. Bandidas (2006: producer)
  14. The Secret (2006: producer, executive producer)
  15. Angel-A (2005: producer)
  16. Revolver (2005: co-producer)
  17. Transporter 2 (2005: producer)
    ... aka Transporteur II, Le (France)
  18. Au suivant! (2005: associate producer, co-producer, uncredited)
  19. Imposture (2005: producer)
  20. Souffleur, Le (2005: co-producer)
  21. Ze film (2005: co-producer)
  22. Danny the Dog (2005: producer)
    ... aka Danny the Dog (Hong Kong: English title)
    ... aka Unleashed (USA)
  23. Tres entierros de Melquiades Estrada, Los (2005: executive producer)
    ... aka The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (International: Spanish title)
    ... aka Trois enterrements de Melchiades Estrada, Les (France)
I get the feeling that in his off time, he watches the 8,136 TV shows executive produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.

*Translated from "Can you say 'full plate'?"

2 Talked Back:

At September 9, 2005 at 11:37:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

See, you need to go to Paris...I'm sending you the books.


At September 10, 2005 at 2:31:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Make sure you put $100 bills between the pages.


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Better pics of Wacky Willy

I saw Wacky Willy on the way to work today, and I had a few extra minutes, so I thought I'd try to get a better picture of him than the one I took a few weeks ago:

Wacky Willy does what he pleases. Here he is going the wrong way on MLK Jr. Blvd., into the path of a bus.

Here he is in the Sheridan Fruit Market parking lot. Ironically, I drove the wrong way down a side street while going around the block to get this shot.

Maybe if I see him again I can shoot something other than his back. But at least these pics aren't completely blurry.

5 Talked Back:

At September 9, 2005 at 11:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

The guy who lived next door to us when I was growing up has an adult son with brain damage. Evidently bit on an electric cord when he was a kid and fried his brain. Anyway, I used to see him walking up and down the street all the time, collecting cans. I think he would even go to the apartment dumpsters searching for cans. No was was the guy's dad hard-up for money, I think it just gave him something to do. Then he got a real job at McDonalds...until he beat some guy up for making fun of him. Then he went to work at the car wash. And he would walk everywhere. His dad never drove him. His dad was an a-hole too.


At September 9, 2005 at 3:10:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I wonder what would happen if you asked to take a picture of him?


At September 9, 2005 at 3:51:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I'd have a nice close-up shot of his middle digit?


At September 11, 2005 at 10:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

is that a handicap sticker?


At September 12, 2005 at 8:19:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...



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Thursday, September 08, 2005

Spammer proof!

Okay, so I have been fortunate enough to have no spam in the comments thus far, so I haven't had to turn on word verification for you. Although I've now seen a few spams "slip past the guards", so it almost doesn't make sense to turn it on ever. (I suspect that spammers are paying poor college kids to manually spam blogs with verification.)

But here's the solution: If every code word was like the one I encountered a minute ago, I'll bet even a academic all-star wouldn't be able to break in:

I know that after trying some of the permutations of V's and W's, I'd think that it isn't worth my time!

4 Talked Back:

At September 8, 2005 at 7:39:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

That's beautiful!


At September 8, 2005 at 10:37:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

I have gotten a couple wrong... what the?....


At September 9, 2005 at 1:07:00 AM CDT, Blogger kristen said...

i'm guessing it's y w v w x but that's just what i would type. good luck with all that. yeah i've gotten some wrong too and i'm a pretty observant person. what gives?


At September 9, 2005 at 11:36:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

That makes my eyes all googly...of course it's 12:35 est and I've had about 100 whiskey drinks. Maybe that's the problem!


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Gives "Beer Buzz" a whole new meaning

Sorry, St. Louis, I know you're proud of your Budweiser, and I know you must think I have something against them with my earlier post about the stupid billboard. But I have to say, they bring it on themselves when they introduce products like this:

It's beer. With caffeine. It was funny on "The Drew Carey Show", but in real life, what's the point? Who drinks beer as an energy booster?

Alcohol is a depressant, and caffeine is a stimulant - don't they cancel each other out? And do you want that cancelling out to happen inside your body?

And what the heck is the "natural flavor"?

9 Talked Back:

At September 8, 2005 at 5:36:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Isn't beer supposed to already have a natural flavor? What with the barley or hops or whatever? Let's get our trub buddy on here to answer that. Trub!

love meagan


At September 8, 2005 at 5:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger Kat's Nine Lives said...

A bartender gave us some of that crap to try about a month ago because they just happened to be promoting it that night.

Did you hear me say crap? Yeah, just like you figured.


At September 8, 2005 at 7:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

I don't really understand the stimulant/depressant thing. That's like Jager Bombs (again no accents). Jager depressant, Red Bull stimulant. Don't get it either. Beer with caffeine?? They're just jumping on the Red Bull craze.


At September 8, 2005 at 7:15:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I know! I predict that within a year we'll see Budweiser with Centrum Complete Multi-Vitamin.


At September 8, 2005 at 7:16:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Jager bombs, good. But the bud thing doesn't sound good


At September 8, 2005 at 8:37:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

It's to keep you from falling asleep at the bar...the longer you stay 'awake' the more beer you can drink!


At September 8, 2005 at 9:31:00 PM CDT, Blogger SayUnderpants said...

OK, as a St. Louisan I feel compelled to tell you that AB's version of Buzz Beer really was a crappy idea...and it tastes awful, like beer with a little Red Bull mixed into it...

You may be right about the "vitamin beer", Stan...I know I'd at least try it..."Look Ma! Beer's actually GOOD for me now!"


At September 9, 2005 at 2:39:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

The beta carotene would cancel out your beer goggles


At September 15, 2005 at 10:14:00 AM CDT, Blogger michaelm said...

Natural flavor must be in the same vein as "real" imitation leather. What the hell is that all about?
If all the hoopla ultimately sells more beer that's all Anheiser Busch is concerned about anyway.



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Ten things that take me back

Here, in no particular order, are ten things that instantly take me back to my childhood:

1. The smell of watermelon-flavored bubble gum
2. Those hard-to-open school bus windows
3. "You Can't Do That on Television"
4. Compute!'s Gazette magazine
5. Al Pino, the Wilkes Elementary janitor
6. Wasco Hill
7. "Little House on the Prairie" reruns
8. Homemade Green Kool-Aid popsicles
9. Duchess and Maynard (neighbor dogs)
10. "One, two three, NOT IT!"

1 Talked Back:

At September 8, 2005 at 1:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

I found myself watching a rerun of Little House the other day. It seems so corny now. Why did my parents and I sit there for an hour and watch this stupid program?


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« T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts »

While I was searching for the correct way to spell "viva le resistance" (I like to use the correct accent marks, as I believe it makes me look smarter), I ran across this handy Guide to French language. It didn't help me, but it's quite useful nonetheless.

Before my next (haha) trip to Paris, I'll be sure to have these memorized. It'll be an interesting trip, indeed.

4 Talked Back:

At September 8, 2005 at 1:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

C'est manifique! I can use these! I have two books: Merde! and Merde Encore! On your next trip to Paris, I'll send them to you. They will help you get laid, have a menage a trois and tell someone off. I do not know how to do the accents, thus you are still the smart one here.


At September 8, 2005 at 2:31:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Hah, like I'm ever going to actually go to Paris! I've never been east of Lake Michigan, much less the Atlantic Ocean :)


At September 8, 2005 at 7:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

Well get your a$$ in gear and get EAST!


At September 8, 2005 at 7:16:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Send money


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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Winner, Best Non-Traffic Use of a Traffic Sign Award

Walking Man Brewing, Stevenson, Washington

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Now that's one well-trained dog

Here's a story about a dog who was smart enough to take a train back to its home:

from BBC News World Edition, August 29, 2005

Labrador Archie takes train home

An impatient dog caught the train home in Aberdeenshire after becoming separated from his owner.

The black labrador, Archie, boarded the First ScotRail train from Aberdeen to Inverness at Inverurie Station.

Mike Taitt, 60, from Oyne, feared the worst after his headstrong eight-year-old dog disappeared.

But he received a phone call to say Archie had stepped off the train at Insch Station and was waiting for him - just three miles from his house.

Mr Taitt said: "Archie is very intelligent and definitely has a mind of his own.

"I think he got on that train because he thought I was on it.

Train enthusiast

"I couldn't believe it when I got the call from the station saying: 'We've got your doggie'."

Mr Taitt, who has an interest in trains, had been driving home when he decided to stop at Inverurie Station to look at the Royal Scotsman train, which was in the station.

He left Archie on one of the platforms and went across the bridge to look at the train but by the time he returned his dog was already on the 2005 BST service to Inverness.

Archie got off the train when it stopped at Insch and was spotted by a signalman, who found his contact details on his collar and phoned Mr Taitt.

The incident, which happened earlier this month, has now been recorded in the official log-books of First ScotRail, British Transport Police and Grampian Police.

SSPCA spokeswoman Doreen Graham said: "I think it is quite easy to underestimate the intelligence of animals.

"The fact that Archie got on the right train was probably a coincidence, but he probably knew which stop to get off at because he recognised local smells which made him know he was close to home.

"I think it is quite amazing - Archie obviously doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Welcome *cough* back to *cough* school

Well, it's the first day of school for most kids, but some districts have already started. The school buses for the district I live in are kept in a lot that's right along my morning commute, so chances are good that I'll encounter one or more every day.

Every bus in the fleet - and I mean every bus - has diesel exhaust pouring out of it in thick clouds when accelerating. Sometimes I'll have to wait at the light behind three buses, and when the light's green, I get the collected fumes from all of them. You'd think that the second and third bus driver would catch a whiff and bring it to someone's attention, but apparently, nobody cares.

The sad thing is, at this time of year, the weather's still nice, so there are kids sitting in the seats next to open windows breathing in that nasty stuff.

Do they not have mechanics?

2 Talked Back:

At September 6, 2005 at 11:14:00 AM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

I don't know how it is where you live, but in PA, we are required to get emissions tests at the time we get our cars inspected. But, the trucks, busses, etc. don't have to. Does this make ANY sense? They are the one's belching filth into the air. No, that's not a quote from Sting either.


At September 6, 2005 at 9:36:00 PM CDT, Blogger Dave_NotJim said...

Did someone hit the EXIT sign? (A Jim-type question by Dave.)


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Friday, September 02, 2005

1 to the 8 to the 5

Okay, okay, so I'm a bit overweight. Not grotesquely overweight, just like 30 pounds. And I'm thinking that it's time to be honest about it with my fellow bloggers and readers, because I'm just tired of lugging around this extra poundage, and I need some accountability.

So I'm going public with it. I have started a new blog, that I'll be updating as often as I can (except this weekend, because I'll be out at the X-Fest), where I'll weigh in and, as best as I can remember, provide a list of what I've been eating that day.

I don't want to start another blog and not finish it. It's too easy to do. So, can you help me out here? Make a comment or two, check up on me, give me a nudge when I don't update, etc. I'm not asking you to be my mom, just a pal.

By the way, I'm not doing this to be better than anyone. This is just for me and my own weight issue. If you have any of your own weight issues, they're none of my business, I'm not asking you to tell me about it, and I love you just the same. :)

7 Talked Back:

At September 4, 2005 at 11:05:00 AM CDT, Blogger historymike said...

You may have hit upon a terrific weight-loss method, Stan.

Weight Watchers, of course, uses the peer pressure and support schema, but your blog makes your weight a worldwide phenomena.

You will now have the entire blogosphere to pressure you into eating properly and exercising.

That is, as long as you remain honest about the results!


At September 5, 2005 at 2:44:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Well, I will be honest about this: from Friday night until right now, I would definitely say that progress was not made on the weight loss front. I ate somewhat poorly, and my only exercise consisted of a lot of walking and shooting photos. And enduring ear-splitting noice coming from speaker stacks as I tried to get good shooting angles for the bands.


At September 5, 2005 at 8:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Good for you! They say it takes 30 days to make a habit. Keep it up!


At September 6, 2005 at 1:46:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I should note that I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't eat perfectly. I understand that some foods are better than others, and that this whole process may be two steps forward, one step back. If I have a cookie or some movie theater popcorn or something like that, as long as I'm not habitually or consistently eating this way, I should be fine.

I will not be ruled by guilt. :)


At September 6, 2005 at 7:28:00 AM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

Weight issue? Moi? I love to eat, hate to exercise, and love to tell other people what they should or shouldn't be doing to lose their extra poundage. I swear I'm going back to the gym tomorrow and we start eating better...tomorrow.


At September 6, 2005 at 3:18:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

It's all about balance. Denying yourself something all the time will only make you want it more. Indulge a little.


At September 8, 2005 at 11:44:00 AM CDT, Anonymous yourmomkathy said...

Hey, Stan - I know you didn't ask me to be your Mom, but I just happen to be and I just read our blog from Friday. I just picked up a copy of "Woman's World" today, because of an article on cover that says "Get skinny eating GOOD CARBS" I have read it and it seems a pretty simple and sensible way to make some changes in my diet that should help to lighten the load. You know I need to reduce more than you do, but you might think about this. Be careful though! Dont let anyone catch you buying Women's World or they might talk about you!! Ha Ha. Bet you didn't think I'd read this, did you? Love, Mom


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Thursday, September 01, 2005

I was a month off

I miscalculated the numbed of days I've been alive by 31 days. Therefore, my 12,000th day will actually be on September 25, 2005.

(Like anyone cares.)

7 Talked Back:

At September 1, 2005 at 6:32:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Okay, I will ask, what made you realized you were a month off? :)


At September 1, 2005 at 6:48:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

When I calculated it before, I just counted whole years + months and days since last birthday + leap days; I just missed a month.

Today I did the same calculation in Microsoft Excel, which is astoundingly easy. In fact, it took about 15 seconds to calculate that today is your 12,769th day.


At September 1, 2005 at 7:15:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Why does that make me feel old? 12,769 days old? Yeap, I fell old :)


At September 2, 2005 at 12:22:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


At September 2, 2005 at 10:10:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Scott - Think about this:

If today you turned
40 years old = 14,610 days
45 years old = 16,436 days
50 years old = 18,263 days
55 years old = 20,089 days
60 years old = 21,915 days
65 years old = 23,741 days
70 years old = 25,568 days
75 years old = 27,394 days
80 years old = 29,220 days
85 years old = 31,046 days
90 years old = 32,873 days

And each day is 24 hours, which is 1,440 minutes, which is 86,400 seconds. You've got 157,766,400 seconds from your 35th birthday until your 40th; even subtracting 1/3 for sleep, think about all you have to look forward to in each of those seconds.

Still feel old? :)


At September 2, 2005 at 6:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I just re-read the comment I posted last night and realize it sounds so very mean!! What was I thinking?!

I love your blogs, the more random the better. So, will you please excuse my rude sarcasm?

love meagan


At September 2, 2005 at 7:56:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yeah, Meagan, I was about to write you off as a decent person...glad you cleared things up :)


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Things in Sinks: Judgment Day

Okay, the suggestions have sort of dropped off, so now let's put them into a least-to-most funny hierarchy. I'd rather have someone else do it than me, because I don't want the temptation to put all of mine at the top.

So who else wants to rank them?

5 Talked Back:

At September 1, 2005 at 3:39:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Stan-you need to find someone who doesn't have anything in your list, that way you could get a fair judge.
I would do it, but like you I would like to see mine at the top.
I do have one that I would like to see at the top, the one with Jim in a sink, that would be funny.


At September 1, 2005 at 5:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Doesn't have to be one person. Anyone who wants to can rank them! :)


At September 2, 2005 at 12:23:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Well, I'd put Jim's bloody hand at the top. And you never even put it on your list.



At September 2, 2005 at 12:24:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Oh. I just noticed you edited your original post and added "gory" to those unallowed. Well good for you.


At September 6, 2005 at 2:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Oh, hey, I'm just gonna drop the whole "ranking" thing, it wasn't that important to begin with.


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