Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Katrina flood video

All of the local officials say that the Katrina damage is far worse than the limited scope we've seen in the media. Which makes sense, since the media is severely limited as to what they can show to the outside world.

Here's a clip of just a small part of the flooding damage.

God be with them all.

3 Talked Back:

At August 31, 2005 at 7:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I see you're back on the net, still can't sleep??

 

At September 1, 2005 at 10:30:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Scott's referring to the fact that I got about an hour of sleep the night before last. No matter what I tried, I just could not lose consciousness.

I had to leave work early yesterday because my eyes were getting droopy in front of the computer. I called Scott on the way home. But once I got home, I wasn't sleepy anymore, so I tried a movie, then the computer again. I finally got the snoozies at about 5pm, and I slept for 13 hours.

 

At September 1, 2005 at 2:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

I think New Orleans as we know it is gone. That city will never, ever be the same.

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Scarred by the babysitter, part 1

When I was a kid, our neighborhood babysitter had two cats: one named Number Seven, the other named Pooter.

Oh, my, this was a weird family with plenty of weird stories. I'll give you little tidbits from time to time.

The box is the box is the box

I've been hearing the phrase "think outside the box" for at least a decade now, if not longer. I always attributed it to the little picture puzzle of the 3x3 array of dots, where the object is to cross through every dot in four lines without lifting your pencil. (You have to work outside of the "box" to solve it.)

Well, on the little bookshelf here at work, I just ran across a copy of a book called "C and the Box", which is a dopey little story about a letter C who works in an office (why it isn't just a person, I don't know), and is stuck working in this box until he finds a spring, and he jumps on it and bounces out of the box, yada yada yada. I've found more inspiration inside an expired can of pork and beans. And oh yeah, the book came out in 1993. And it sells at Amazon for eighteen flippin' dollars.

The thing about "thinking outside the box" (shouldn't it be "thinking outside of the box"?) is that it has become so cliché, it's a box in and of itself. Look, I have nothing against being creative and trying new angles of looking at issues, but often times the routines - "boxes" - are in place because they work!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The hierarchy of Things in Sinks [list]

Inspired by my earlier post about Cats In Sinks, and the idea that seeing photos of dogs attempting to fit in sinks might be funnier, I have decided to start an open list of other animals or things that might be funny to see in sinks. This isn't just a play-on-words list ("Drinks In Sinks"?); try to actually imagine something that would look funny trying to fit into a sink.

(And let's keep it clean: gory, "naughty" or offensive suggestions will not be included.)

1. Dogs in Sinks (stan)
2. Horses in Sinks (stan)
3. Buses in Sinks (stan)
4. Donny Osmond in a Sink (Jim)
5. Fish in Sinks (Meagan)
6. Hippopotamuses in Sinks (Scott)
7. Steve Irwin With a Crocodile in a Sink (Scott)
8. Giraffes in Sinks (nitsuj)
9. Suspension Bridges in Sinks (stan)
10. Vending Machines in Sinks (stan)
11. Union Pacific EMD DD40AX Engines in Sinks (Scott)
12. Grandfather Clocks in Sinks (Meagan)
13. McDonald's Restaurants in Sinks (El Froggo)
14. Other, Larger Sinks in Sinks (stan)
15. Craftmatic Adjustable Beds in Sinks (sayunderpants)
16. Grandmother's False Teeth in Sinks (Mik)
17. Spaghetti and Meatballs in Sinks (Mik)
18. Ice Cream in Sinks (Mik)
19. Lions in Sinks (Scott)
20. Jim in a Sink (Jeff)
21. E-Z-GO Scooters in Sinks (Interstellarlass)
22. Segways in Sinks (Interstellarlass)
23. Sinks in Sinks, Inside Still Larger Sinks (stan)
24. Kayaks in Sinks (Interstellarlass)

Awaiting ranking...

26 Talked Back:

At August 30, 2005 at 12:32:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 1:24:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I'll boil that down to simply "Donny Osmond", I assume that's your intention.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 1:29:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

fish in sinks?

I know at first thought it doesn't seem very funny because, well, sinks=basins of water and fish=live in basins of water so it kind of makes sense... BUT if you think about actually having a fish that lives only in a sink, never a tank or a bowl, well, then, I guess I find that kind of funny.

love meagan

 

At August 30, 2005 at 1:35:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

A larger fish like a sturgeon would be funny.

Maybe I should change it to Things in Toilets, that's be pretty funny, too.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 1:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Things in toilets... You'd have to retract your "let's keep it clean" disclaimer...

 

At August 30, 2005 at 1:51:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 2:26:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Jim: And you find that funny? Not, oh, freaky, scary, gross?

Interesting.

Bloody hand vs. Donny Osmond. Which would I laugh at more? Tough question.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 3:40:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

A hippopotamus

 

At August 30, 2005 at 3:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Steve Irwin w/ a crocodile

 

At August 30, 2005 at 4:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Giraffes in Sinks

 

At August 30, 2005 at 4:34:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

EMD DD40AX in a sink.

Oh nevermind, no one would know what that was :)

 

At August 30, 2005 at 4:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

No, that's hilarious! It's an enormous train engine.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 4:43:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

That reminds me, Scott, you should rent The Station Agent, you would totally geek out on the train stuff. :)

 

At August 30, 2005 at 4:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I was planning on renting it this week-end.
I have never heard of this movie, til you mentioned it.

 

At August 30, 2005 at 4:50:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Because you know I'm a geek when it comes to trains :)

 

At August 30, 2005 at 5:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

grandfather clock

 

At August 30, 2005 at 6:09:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

A mcdonalds in a sink

 

At August 30, 2005 at 10:17:00 PM CDT, Blogger SayUnderpants said...

Craftmatic Adjustible Beds...in sinks

 

At August 30, 2005 at 10:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

But there was a Lion.... in the sink :)

 

At August 30, 2005 at 11:22:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Grandmother's false teeth in a sink!

Spaghetti & meatballs in a sink

Ice cream in a sink

Mik

 

At August 31, 2005 at 8:34:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jeff said...

Jim in a sink.

 

At August 31, 2005 at 10:12:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

LOL, that'll be in the top three.

 

At August 31, 2005 at 10:46:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

EZ-Go scooters.

 

At August 31, 2005 at 10:46:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Segways

 

At September 1, 2005 at 9:19:00 AM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

Water in sinks

 

At September 1, 2005 at 9:30:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

kayaks

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, August 29, 2005

Urine trouble, hope you're feline guilty

I just clicked over to Stuff On My Cat to check out the latest photos (the vacuum cleaner one is a classic), and happened to notice the Google ads on the right hand side. The third ad has me completely baffled:

This is wrong on so many levels. What does cat urine have to do with designer handbags? Why do the advertisers think that a designer handbag is the most appropriate thing to give to a cat owner? Is the bag lined with kitty litter? And Why Is Every Word Capitalized?

What the heck is going on here?

1 Talked Back:

At August 30, 2005 at 12:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

for show cats maybe, to fake their drug tests? :)

 

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Perhaps a bit o' pirate fun, savvy?

On Saturday I downloaded a game called Puzzle Pirates, figuring that I'd open it up, see what it was all about, play it for a little while, then give up and go back to my normal life.

This game is FUN. And, I might add, a good cure for boredom. Are you listening, Scott? :)

It's an online game that is comprised of several smaller games. You are a pirate who interacts with other players in different situations. There are "jobs" that you can do in order to earn money, both on ships and on shore. Some jobs are actually puzzles or Tetris-like games that, once completed, earn you money. There is a set of "parlor" games as well, including Hearts, Spades, a board game, and something like Plinko on "The Price is Right".

There is also a whole game economic system that I haven't even begun to explore. It looks like you can open your own store on an island (with a significant investment), that not only sells items like clothing and swords, but provides opportunities for other players to earn their own money making your goods. There is a commodities market that you buy raw goods from. There are different items that many players can bid upon.

In all, this is a huge game, a huge online pirate world that one can easily lose themselves in.

The best part of this game is that, unlike so many other massive multiplayer games that are too dark and violent, Puzzle Pirates is much more family-friendly*, and doesn't leave you with a sick feeling after playing it.

I forgot to mention: The players all look like LEGO people.

*There is a "drinking game", but it's a board game, not really a see-who-can-hold-the-most-liquor game.

1 Talked Back:

At August 29, 2005 at 3:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

just what Scott needs, less interaction with people! :)

 

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Friday, August 26, 2005

Update from the online Go Fish tourney

In the Inbox tonight, I saw two very similar (spam) messages:
8/26/2005, 8:17 AM
From: Ezra Nelson
Subject: Rachael needs a card

8/26/2005, 6:04 PM
From: Arturo Silver
Subject: Della needs a card

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GET THESE WOMEN SOME CARDS??!!!

4 Talked Back:

At August 27, 2005 at 7:28:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Well, sounds to me like Ezra and Arturo aren't doing a good job taking care of their women.

I also wanted to comment on your DVD reviews on your sidebar. Loved In America, The Station Agent and Touching the Void. Haven't seen Dear Frankie, but it will go on the list. Cellular I'm not so sure. Didn't that have Kim Basinger in it? I don't like scary movies or Kim Basinger much.

 

At August 27, 2005 at 7:25:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

hehe, you're such a card Stan!

 

At August 27, 2005 at 7:34:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Jim - Then obviously, Rachael and Della need me!

To the rescue!

 

At August 28, 2005 at 12:51:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan, you're the man for the job! Rachael and Della needs cards, so they are clearly not playing with a full deck! :)

 

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Again with the cats!

Discovered by way of Dave Barry's blog, here's a companion site to Stuff On My Cat:

Cats In Sinks

(Although, don't you think Dogs in Sinks might be funnier?)

3 Talked Back:

At August 26, 2005 at 9:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger pain said...

my dog would fit in the sink, i have put him there before to clean stuff off of him. just relaxing in the sink would be a different story. if i ever find him there...will take a pic.

 

At August 26, 2005 at 10:19:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

When I imagined Dogs in Sinks, I was thinking of how hilarious it would be to see someone trying to cram a German Shepherd or a St. Bernard into their tiny kitchen sink.

 

At August 27, 2005 at 12:57:00 PM CDT, Blogger Carnealian said...

Yes, dogs in sinks would be funnier. I have a friend with a 110 lb (plus) black lab. She's found him on the dining room table and the kitchen counter. So, in the sink may not be too far fetched.

Imagine however, waking early in the a.m. when it's still dark outside, turning on the bathroom light and finding your black cat curled up in the sink. It's startling at first. It's much better when a house guest finds them. That may include some shreiking!

 

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Pleace you're orrder todaey!

I checked my PO box earlier this evening, and as I sometimes do, I dumpster-dove in their enormous recycle bin looking for any cool discarded magazines. (The bin's clean, don't worry.) I found the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, and a couple of catalogs that I really wasn't interested in.

Except there was one catalog for personalized photo albums that happened to be opened to a page which caught my eye. As I looked closer, I came to the conclusion that whoever actually makes these albums does not know how to spell worth a darn:


I'm sorry, but I couldn't in good conscience spend my money on an album which, in all likelihood, would arrive at my doorstep emblazoned with the words, "MY SUMER VACATOIN TO YELLWOSTONNE PARRK".

6 Talked Back:

At August 26, 2005 at 10:59:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan -- I have come back and looked at this a dozen times this morning -- isn't "Smokey" spelled correctly -- is this some kind of trick you're playinng on the dyslexic ?

 

At August 26, 2005 at 11:32:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

According to the National Park Service, it's Smoky, without the E. In fact, if you do a Google search on "smokey mountains", the only hits you get are with the corrected spelling.

 

At August 26, 2005 at 11:45:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

I guess I was confusing the mountains with the bear. my mistake. bad Jim.

 

At August 26, 2005 at 3:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Jim you don't want to go confusing the two, climbing up a Grizzly bear is more hazardous than Mt Everest.

Mik

 

At August 26, 2005 at 5:22:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

oh, that would explain these scratches -- I thought my instructions were "See now fur is to climb?" rather than "See how far you can climb?" -- I'll start immediately

 

At August 27, 2005 at 7:23:00 AM CDT, Blogger InterstellarLass said...

Goes to show what a good proof-reader can do for you.

 

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

"I lost 10 pounds, but where are all of my teeth?"

I bought a 10-bag carton of microwave popcorn to have as a relatively healthy snack at work. It's Orville Redenbacher's 94% fat-free, butter flavor. And it's good! But I was looking at the nutrition info on the box today (wondering what the actual serving size was, as opposed to "Entire Bag"), and one major oddity stood out. The Nutrition Facts show all of the calories, fat content, etc., but for two categories: 3 Tbsp Unpopped, and 1 Cup Popped.

Which begs the question of who, in their right mind, eats unpopped popcorn.

4 Talked Back:

At August 25, 2005 at 5:17:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

save it and send it, the dam ducks deem it a delicacy :)

wuvuwll <-- I made one up

 

At August 25, 2005 at 11:47:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

People who don't own a microwave LOL

Mik

 

At August 26, 2005 at 12:01:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

people with high fevers

 

At August 26, 2005 at 2:26:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Jim - I had to read that about 10 times before I got the joke

 

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Happy Odometer Day to me

Today, August 25, is the 12,000th day I've been alive. Funny, I don't feel a day over 11,750.

UPDATE!!!
I was wrong by a month! My 12,000th day will actually be September 25, 2005.

8 Talked Back:

At August 25, 2005 at 12:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

did you take leap years into account? just curious

 

At August 25, 2005 at 1:00:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Absolutely.

 

At August 25, 2005 at 5:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

and, how many days have you been waiting to post this post, just curious

 

At August 25, 2005 at 5:35:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It was in the queue for about six or seven days, that's about how long ago I realized it. :)

 

At August 25, 2005 at 7:44:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

did you see Stan: A Feline Story posted by MH Middlechild?

 

At August 26, 2005 at 1:17:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

No, I couldn't find it, I clicked on her profile page and there was no blog attached.

*goes off to read it*

That was...interesting. Hopefully that's the last chapter in the Stan-as-cat mythology. Don't want it spinning out of control.

 

At August 26, 2005 at 1:38:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

you could become your own urban legend

 

At August 26, 2005 at 1:56:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Sweet, I mean MEOW

 

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But no word on who portrayed the ball

I just noticed on IMDb that Stephen King has a listing in the "Himself- Filmography" section of his page, for his "appearance" at the 2004 World Series...

...as a CROWD MEMBER.

Then I clicked on that link, it turns out that every celebrity who was in the crowd is also listed. As well as every commentator. And team member. And four members of the "That 70's Show" cast.

What, no listing for the rest of the audience? What about the beer and hot dog vendors?

6 Talked Back:

At August 25, 2005 at 1:20:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

you win, 2004 World Series is the strangest web page ever, I was there but I asked not to be listed -- and, even stranger, that you know the cast of That 70's Show by name

 

At August 25, 2005 at 1:32:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Well, I do like the show, although correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that the first episodes were supposedly set in 1976 - so, seven seasons later, it's still the 70's? They'd better check their math, because they already shot themselves in the foot by airing the flop "That 80's Show"

 

At August 25, 2005 at 1:55:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

the answer that the producers of M*A*S*H gave when asked about the TV show lasting much longer than the war was that you had to count each episode as a day (maybe two) and not as a week of time -- I did not know there even had been an 80's Show

 

At August 25, 2005 at 2:08:00 AM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

Well, if they're going to start listing sports, there's a bunch of basketball, football, tennis, and golf games where they flash to shots of stars. And then there's all the tv magazine appearences. Are they going to list all them?
Jessica Simpson-TV appearences: 10 second guest shot on Inside Edition discussing her favorite lip gloss.
I know all the cast memeber of That 70's Show, too. I guess the later episodes should be called "That Early-Eighies Show"
The problem with That Eighties Show, other than the mediocre writing, was the fact that they tried to fit every trend/fad/style from the 80's into each 30 minute show.
Stan-I know I said I was through blogging for now, but I had to do one more blog that I dedicated to you. Hope you enjoy it.

 

At August 25, 2005 at 2:23:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I actually haven't watched much of it in the last four years or so, but I think I did catch one episode where they referenced it as 1979...as in, last season or the season before it.

Plus, unlike in "M*A*S*H", the characters clearly age, as we've seen them go through high school and beyond. With older (than 25) adults, it's much easier to mask the passage of time, as everyone generally looks the same year after year.

 

At August 25, 2005 at 5:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

stan -- just read the headline on this post, really funny

 

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Getting the lead out

So once in a while I'll look at Blogger's "Blogs of Note" section (on the main Blogger page), to see if anything grabs my attention. I saw one called Anonymous Lawyer, and I had to click on it, because the title contains the word Anonymous. (It could have been Anonymous Ice Cream Vendor, or Anonymous Asphalt Truck Driver, and I still would've clicked...I'm also a sucker for ________ Insider...what can I say, I like to read the "inside scoop".)

So I'm going through the Anonymous Lawyer archives, little by little (because yes, I also have a ton of work to do), and I saw this post. The subject of the post, one of his clients, is a really funny character, almost cartoony in personality.

This guy is a pretty good storyteller, even for a soulless lawyer. :)

2 Talked Back:

At August 25, 2005 at 10:09:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

So, if I use your post as a guide, and created a 'blog called Anonymous Ice Cream Insider (for the true inside scoop) chances are you'd leave comments, if possible, even before the 'blog was created?

B-)

 

At August 26, 2005 at 1:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

If possible, yes.

I love me some ice cream, especially vanilla with crumbled saltines on top. Nummy!

(That's your first post, by the way.)

 

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Texas T-bone's Top 10 Ways to Save Gasoline

Yes, I'm blatantly lifting this material from someone else's site, but hey, it's funny:

We're all feeling the pinch (at least those of us with cars), even those of us who have recently exchanged our SUVs for more fuel-efficient machines. It's not like the difference is so great now anyway, because in the past two weeks gasoline prices have shot up what seems like 20 or 25 cents per gallon. And I live in a state that produces a lot of gas (or hot air, at least).

I offer up to you 10 ways to use less gasoline.

1. Be like Martha! Get arrested, indicted and convicted of using insider trading information and be placed under house arrest.

2. Walk everywhere you have to go. You'll be able to cancel your gym membership (and about every other appointment you have) if, like me, you live 11 miles from your office.

3. Drive where you need to go, but just coast down hills. This is a problem for me because Texas – at least my corner of it – is 90 percent flat.

4. Ride a bicycle everywhere you need to go. Hey, it's not like I'd have to pedal up too many hills, right?

5. Carpool. As in drive your car into a pool. Leave it there.

6. Trade your car in for a motorcycle, which can get tremendous gas mileage. Especially while it sits in your garage after you recover from a severe case of road rash after that guy in the Hummer cuts you off in rush-hour traffic.

7. This won't help you use less gas, but you will use less of your own: siphon! Be like Woody Woodpecker in the old cartoons and suck it out of your neighbor's tank and pour it into yours. Also cures bad breath, as in a nasty gassy smell will cover up any Hal O'Tosis you may have.***

8. Put anything other than gasoline in your tank. Result: you'll be walking or pedaling anywhere anyway because it will ruin your car.

9. Carry a jar of Grey Poupon, so when the guy in the Rolls Royce sees you at the corner while you're walking to work, he'll roll down the window and ask if you have any, to which you can exclaim, "Yes! But only if you give me a ride to work, dude."

10. Combine your trips. I don't mean run a bunch of errands at once. I mean refuel your car while you pay your credit card bills. You'll be tripping big time!

***Don't try this at home. Siphoning is a dangerous dangerous crime. If you suck some down you will regret it. Your 15 minutes of flame aren't worth it, even if you have a burning desire.

Happy motoring!

From Texas T-bone: Beef stew for the soul

Just a little something to (cough) sweeten your day

While I was eating a small PB&J a few minutes ago, and washing it down with juice, I accidentally got some of the juice down my windpipe. I still had food in my mouth, though, so I had to cough with my mouth closed (difficult). This sent a little bit of sandwich up the back of my nasal cavity.

I'm through coughing now, but I'm still sniffling to clear my nose. And with every sniff, I taste the jelly/juice sweetness. That's the payoff.

1 Talked Back:

At August 24, 2005 at 1:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Stan can always make people laugh.
That has happened to me, I can't remember with what, the gross part is the only way to get it out was to blow my nose.
So there you go :)

 

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

If I had to guess, I'd say "sunnyside up"

Let's take a look at the wackiest recent search terms that somehow got people to this blog:

They just defy explanation, don't they?

5 Talked Back:

At August 23, 2005 at 10:16:00 PM CDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How exactly did you get that information?

 

At August 23, 2005 at 10:20:00 PM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

I was totally the reason for the "boston/beagle puppies" link! Haha, that's awesome.

 

At August 23, 2005 at 11:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

By doing those searches myself, of course (except Boston/Beagle puppies). :)

No, only kidding, it's my invisible site tracker, it tells me where visitors come from; there's a separate page for search engine results...

 

At August 23, 2005 at 11:59:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

"little dingle hanging down" -- wow, are you secure

 

At August 24, 2005 at 1:04:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It's strange, I know, considering what the definition of a dingle is.

 

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Identity crisis

A couple of months ago, I was credited as the sole author of three million blogs:

[I]t's a little known fact, but Stan is actually responsible for 99.99% of all blogs in existence -- except for your's, mine, and one written by a slightly demented eighty-six year old Haitian woman living in Duluth, Stan pretends he is three million different people and authors blogs in each of their names, he has not slept in four years

As of yesterday, I'm also revealed to be a feline:

Stan is actually one of Scott's cats, he just uses the name Stan as a nom de plume -- that's why none of Stan's pictures look like the one that it replaced.

What will it be next time, Jim? :)

4 Talked Back:

At August 23, 2005 at 3:00:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

I have also said that you are one of the most creative and witty people that I have ever encountered (and that you would be perfect except perhaps for your need to solicit compliments)

 

At August 23, 2005 at 3:40:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Thank you, Jim, and point taken.

 

At August 23, 2005 at 9:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

Stan...I'm sorry I'm so gullible and believed Jim when he said you were a cat. I'm sure your a very nice puurrrrson.(sorry, I couldn't resist) Please forgive me. I'll never believe a word Jim says again.

 

At August 23, 2005 at 10:06:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It's not me that's a cat...it's one of my other 2,999,999 personalities. Or all of them.

(2,999,999 x 9 lives = 26,999,991 lives!)

 

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Monday, August 22, 2005

If you shake a spear at a banana tree...

They used to say that an unlimited number of monkeys banging on an unlimited number of typewriters would eventually (and accidentally) type the entire works of Shakespeare.

Fortunately, there are skilled computer scientists hard at work running monkey simulators.

Time-wasting science is awesome!

2 Talked Back:

At August 22, 2005 at 2:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

oddly enough, this is the same simulator ABC uses to write Desperate Housewives [duck!]

 

At August 22, 2005 at 3:56:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I set 'em up, Jim knocks 'em down :)

 

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Friday, August 19, 2005

Even Animal Planet has its standards [list]

Whaddaya say we do another list?

The categories: REJECTED ANIMAL SITCOMS

1. "Swinefeld" (stan)
2. "Married...With Offspring" (stan)
3. "Den Improvement" (stan)
4. "Punky Rooster" (stan)
5. "Desperate Houseflies" (Jim)
6. "Flopper" (Scott)
7. "Mad About Ewes" (Jim)
8. "Crowsanne" (stan)
9. "M*U*L*E" (stan)
10. "Goat Smart" (stan)
11. "According to Chimp" (stan)
12. "Pork and Mindy" (nitsuj)
13. "The Golden Squirrels" (nitsuj)
14. "Yes, Deer" (nitsuj)
15. "Ally McSeal" (nitsuj)
16. "The Shrimpsons" (stan)
17. "Ape Is Enough" (MH Middlechild)
18. "The Cowsby Show" (MHM)
19. "OwLF" (MHM)
20. "The Flukes of Hazzard" (MHM)
21. "I Love Lemurs"* (El Froggo)
22. "The Brady Bunch"* (Jim)
*See linked comments for explanation

REJECTED ANIMAL DRAMA/REALITY SHOWS

1. "Miami Lice" (Jim)
2. "Deer Factor" (Mik)
3. "This Old Mouse" (Mik)
4. "The Young & the Reptiles" (Mik)
5. "Paw & Order" (Mik)
6. "Dawson's Beak" (JLee5)
7. "Average Crow" (JLee5)
8. "Viva La Ram" (nitsuj)
9. "America's Next Top Waddle" (nitsuj)
10. "Boston Beagle" (nitsuj)
11. "Extreme Makerover" (nitsuj)
12. "Quantum Sheep" (stan)
13. "Tiger Eye for the Lion Guy" (stan)
14. "Magnum P.I.G." (MHM)
15. "Little Mouse on the Prairie" (MHM)
16. "The Incredible Hawk" (MHM)
17. "Hill Street Shrews" (MHM)
18. "SeaSI" (Andrew-TLA)
19. "Battlestarfish Galactica" (Andrew-TLA)
20. "The Cat from U.N.C.L.E." (Andrew-TLA)

29 Talked Back:

At August 19, 2005 at 1:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Desperate Houseflies

 

At August 19, 2005 at 1:22:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Ty Pennington, opps, sorry, that's the list of people we'd like to see being eaten by animals, nevermind

 

At August 19, 2005 at 3:19:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

"Flopper"

 

At August 19, 2005 at 3:35:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Mad About Yews

 

At August 19, 2005 at 4:28:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

The Brady Bunch

 

At August 19, 2005 at 4:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I don't get it.

 

At August 19, 2005 at 4:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan -- please correct the spelling, or it makes no sense:

Mad About Ewe

 

At August 19, 2005 at 5:10:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Miami Lice

 

At August 19, 2005 at 6:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Deer Factor

This Old Mouse

The Young & the Reptiles

Paw & Order

Mik

 

At August 19, 2005 at 6:51:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Too many non-sitcom titles showing up, but rather than argue, I added a second category

 

At August 19, 2005 at 8:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

"Hens" instead of "Friends" I know, it's a stretch

 

At August 19, 2005 at 8:41:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

"Dawson's Beak"

 

At August 19, 2005 at 8:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

I'm on a bird theme here

 

At August 19, 2005 at 8:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

"Love Goat"

 

At August 19, 2005 at 8:51:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

"Average Crow" ok, I'm back to the bird thing

 

At August 19, 2005 at 9:40:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Pass on "Hens", and I already have one with a goat. Unless you can prove that "The Love Boat" was a drama :)

 

At August 19, 2005 at 10:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Comedy:

Pork and Mindy
The Golden Squirrels
Yes, Deer
Ally McSeal

Drama/Reality:

Viva La Ram
America's Next Top Waddle
Boston Beagle
Extreme Makerover

 

At August 19, 2005 at 10:30:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

I love the "Pork and Mindy"!

 

At August 19, 2005 at 11:59:00 PM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

Ape is Enough
The Cowsby Show
Punky Shrewster
Owlf

Magnum P.I.G.
Little Mouse on the Prairie
The Flukes of Hazzard

 

At August 20, 2005 at 12:06:00 AM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

one more popped into my mind:
The Incredible Hawk

 

At August 20, 2005 at 12:40:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I only passed on "Punky Shrewster" because of Punky duplication.

 

At August 20, 2005 at 12:46:00 AM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

I love lucy becomes I love lemers.

 

At August 20, 2005 at 1:05:00 AM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

ok...how 'bout this then?

Hill Street Shrews

 

At August 20, 2005 at 1:11:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

dah, a BUNCH of ducks -- see "Ducks, Groups of.

I want a recount, my chad is hanging.

 

At August 20, 2005 at 1:11:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

El Froggo - If you saw "I Love Lemurs" without explanation, would you still know it was referencing "I Love Lucy"?

 

At August 20, 2005 at 1:40:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

if Froggo gets "I Love Lemurs" then I get "Married...with Kids"

 

At August 20, 2005 at 1:41:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

kid Audio pronunciation of "kids" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kd)
n.

1.
1. A young goat.
2. The young of a similar animal, such as an antelope.
2.
1. The flesh of a young goat.
2. Leather made from the skin of a young goat; kidskin.
3. An article made from this leather.
3. Informal.
1. A child.
2. A young person.
4. Slang. Pal. Used as a term of familiar address, especially for a young person: Hi, kid! What's up?

 

At August 20, 2005 at 2:07:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I already have "Married With Offspring", and "Goat Smart", so there's duplication two different ways, there.

I wasn't even going to include "Lemurs" and "Bunch" because these shouldn't require explanation. It's a basic comedy rule, when you write a joke, it should be delivered so the audience can get it on their own, as it stands.

Two guys walk into a bar..you'd think the second guy would've ducked.

:)

 

At August 22, 2005 at 1:10:00 AM CDT, Blogger Andrew-TLA said...

SeaSI
Battlestarfish Galactica
The Cat From U.N.C.L.E.

 

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Some e-mails have all the luck

Just received in my Inbox:

CONGRATULATIONS !!! YOUR EMAIL HAS WON A MICROSOFT PRIZE:

Well, what about me? It's my e-mail after all, do I get something, too? I want a Microsoft prize!

3 Talked Back:

At August 19, 2005 at 1:26:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

wow, my email has to pay retail

 

At August 19, 2005 at 3:17:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

WOW, I got one too!

 

At August 19, 2005 at 7:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Well, now I don't feel as special.

 

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

The [plastic brick] that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone

Also on The Wheezer Society blog, a little further down the page from New York Changing, is a link to The Abston Church of Christ, which is a miniature church constructed entirely of LEGOs.

They say the builder has wayyyy too much time on her hands..I say that this thing is totally amazing!

4 Talked Back:

At August 18, 2005 at 6:26:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

It's cool that it's big enough for the cats to go inside. Very nice.

 

At August 18, 2005 at 8:01:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

do any actual churches in the U.S. allow pets on a regular basis, the nursing homes here do and some of them have chappels

 

At August 18, 2005 at 11:59:00 PM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

For that church to look totally realistic, some of those little lego people should be sleeping or balancing their checkbooks.

Well, I learned something new. Never heard of a narthex before.

 

At August 19, 2005 at 12:23:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

I think he has it wrong, the narthex is a covered area on the front of a church, but outside like a porch -- since English churches all faced east, the narthex was over the doors on the west end --

and, MH, what Church do you go to where people balance their checkbooks??????????

 

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The Big Apple, then and now

A few years ago at Powell's Books, I ran across a coffee table book called Oregon Then and Now, in which a photographer used a volume of older photos of the state, then shot new photos from the same vantage points so as to visually document the changes over the decades.

Today I just found a similar collection of then-and-now photos, but the subject is New York City. The site is called New York Changing, and it's quite fascinating.

1936 1997


Credit goes to The Wheezer Society, who posted about this earlier today.

6 Talked Back:

At August 18, 2005 at 10:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

did you notice the same guy on a bicycle in both pictures collecting cans

 

At August 19, 2005 at 1:03:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

His wheels are way better in the second one though, it's all in the details

 

At August 19, 2005 at 9:26:00 AM CDT, Blogger pain said...

wow, that is cool. almost looks more busy in 36. hasn't really changed that much. have you been to nyc to see it in person?

 

At August 19, 2005 at 10:04:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

No, but someday I'd like to take a vacation there. See the sights, be in a Letterman audience, get mugged on the subway, I can't wait!

 

At August 20, 2005 at 3:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger pain said...

it's not that bad there. i have never gotten mugged. have seen some stuff, my sister in law lives on upper east side. it is an experience!

 

At August 21, 2005 at 3:53:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Cool, I Googled and Amzone have the Seattle & Portland Then and Now books. I'll have to check the library.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1571452443/002-7266955-5999245?v=glance

Mik

 

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"Desperate Housewives", according to me

[DISCLAIMER: I have never watched an episode of "Desperate Housewives", or even a portion thereof. The descriptions I give for this television show are based solely upon my own impressions of what little I've heard or read about it. Names of actors and characters that I didn't know, I just made up.]

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, Sundays, 9pm, ABC

Teri Hatcher................Karen Essuvee
Eva Longoria................Michelle Spinachdip
Lillian Gish................Sharon Blondelady
LaFawnduh Lucas-Dynamite....Karen Soccerpractice
Brad Pitt (or Jamie Foxx)...UPS Man, Gardener, etc.
David Arquette..............Nameless Insensitive Husband #1
Peter Weller................Nameless Insensitive Husband #2
Judge Reinhold..............Nameless Insensitive Husband #3
Garry Trudeau...............Nameless Insensitive Husband #4
John Ratzenberger...........Cliff Claven


Synopsis: Four suburban housewives get together during the day to exchange recipes for cakes and casseroles, talk about how their kids are doing in school, and drink lots and lots of iced tea.

Well, that's how it might be if Hollywood wasn't involved, because Hollywood finds that kind of stuff BORING. This is more likely a suburban cross between "Sex and the City" and, I don't know, pro wrestling, with four back-biting, far-too-skinny women strutting around trying to compete for who's prettiest, while at the same time agreeing on how bad their husbands are in every conceivable aspect.

Oh yeah, I just remembered that Felicity Huffman might be in the cast. She was great as a fast-talking producer on "Sports Night", wasn't she? I wonder what she's like on here.

So anyway, since these housewives are all feeling trapped in their loveless marriages - they're Desperate, remember? - they're out looking for "opportunities" in other men, like delivery guys (as if a random UPS guy is going to be more sensitive to a woman's needs than the man she married). The husbands are all like, "What's with all of these Amazon boxes? You've never been a reader." Meanwhile, the kids are all, "Why do we have to go to soccer practice every day? We're not even on teams, and soccer sucks!" but they still get shuffled to and from the fields. If ABC was smart, they'd just have the kids plopped down in front of Disney movies the whole time, get a little cross-promo going.

I've officially run out of things to say about this show I haven't watched, so be sure to tune in every Sunday night for another example of how you, the average actual person, are not living!

3 Talked Back:

At August 18, 2005 at 3:53:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Real desperate housewives tuned in the first season to see grass-cutter guy butt naked (literally), now it is just another soap opera. I watched some the first season because of Felicity Huffman, because she was on Sports Night, but it got way too goofy for me.

 

At August 18, 2005 at 4:11:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

So it's even more ridiculous than I had imagined, wow.

 

At August 18, 2005 at 4:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger JLee said...

Stan, you really should watch it..it will suck you in for sure! I LOVE IT.

 

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McSweeney's Lists, submission #2

I'm up far too late tonight, mainly because I've had a lot of catching up to do on Homestar Runner. But I also just submitted another list to McSweeney's, so wish me luck. (Can't tell you what the list is this time, but I'll post it when I'm rejected.)

That's all

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Lesser-Known Movie Prequels: The Prequel

I heard back from McSweeney's this morning, and they've decided to pass on my list of prequels. Since they're not going to post them, or any others I've written, I will!

1. It's A Wonderful Conception
2. Capture Willy
     (not to be confused with Wacky Willy!)
3. So I Went On My First Date With an Axe Murderer
4. High 9:30 A.M.
5. Wayne's Country
6. Just Before Batman Begins
7. Novice Ventura: Pet Enthusiast
8. Colonial Graffiti
9. Fahrenheit 9/10
10. Star Wars, Episode -3: The Kenobi Baby
11. Dude, Don't Forget Where We Parked
12. Apocalypse Tomorrow
13. The Brady/Tyler Single-Parent Household Movie
14. Louis XVI Dynamite
15. The West Hasn't Yet Been Won
16. Embryos of a Lesser God

From the original post:
17. Mornings of Thunder
18. Reservoir Puppies
19. Egg Run

2 Talked Back:

At August 17, 2005 at 4:59:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Reservoir Puppies is major funny

 

At August 18, 2005 at 1:05:00 AM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

My favorite is Louis XVI Dynamite. LOL

I saw "The Three Amigos" on your last five seen. I didn't know anyone but my family ever watched that movie. My kids and I can do a great rendition of "My Little Buttercup"

 

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Funniest Misspeak of the Day

Businesswoman on her phone, overheard on the corner while waiting for the light to change:

"I have a wireless mouth."

3 Talked Back:

At August 17, 2005 at 3:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

makes me wonder, what the heck is wireless mouth?

 

At August 17, 2005 at 3:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

The latest in orthodontic technology?

 

At August 17, 2005 at 5:05:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

She corrected herself by saying, "I mean, a wireless mouse and keyboard..."

 

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Wacky Willy

A decade ago, Scott (Ashman) and I both worked for an auto parts distributor in central SE Portland. Every other week or so, we would see an older gentleman pedaling around the neighborhood of the warehouse on his three-wheeler, yelling out for "Cans! Cans!". There was a wire basket behind his seat, always with a dozen or so empty beer and soda cans scrambling around inside. Because of his eccentric nature, we all started calling him Wacky Willy. Once in a while, Willy would roll up to the bay door in the new warehouse and ask us if we had any cans. We always had a few for him.

One of the funniest things to see was how people would react to Willy's presence. He'd ride directly across the streets with no regard for the impatient drivers who had to wait for him. He'd cross in crosswalks against the green light, much to everyone's annoyance. Well, unless you were local, then you just let him go his own way with a smile and a wave. But outsiders would honk and yell, red-faced, which delighted Willy all the more.

Later, one of our customers told us that his name was actually Leroy (I think; help me out here, Scott), and that he was far from being a penniless transient. In fact, I sometimes used to see him sitting inside McDuff's Pub around the corner enjoying a nice lunch and beer, which wasn't so cheap. Despite this revelation, however, we still called him Wacky Willy, because we liked him better as a crazy, can-collecting old character.

I hadn't thought of Willy for years, until I spotted him today on my way to work. (I apologize for the extremely bad quality of this picture. I saw him out of the corner of my eye while driving, so I circled around the block and got my camera ready. I had to snap the photo blindly through the passenger-side window while going 25 mph.)

The orange blob in the middle of the photo is Willy's back. He was wearing a safety vest. Below that, you can just make out the triangular safety triangle affixed to his three-wheeler. I also noticed that he's got some pretty sweet, expensive-looking racing wheels on that thing now, not the old bent spokeys from years past.

Good old Wacky Willy.

10 Talked Back:

At August 17, 2005 at 11:06:00 AM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Wacky Willy, I haven't heard the name in a while.
I remember when he would cross the streets, he would hold his hand out as to say STOP, and flip off the people who didn't stop.
I was told, like you said Stan, that he was pretty well off.
He's still around? WOW

 

At August 17, 2005 at 11:09:00 AM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Oh Stan, is he still hanging out in SE?

 

At August 17, 2005 at 11:24:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

That's where I saw him, on SE Grand Ave. & Stark St.

 

At August 17, 2005 at 2:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Hey Stan, I was checking out your pictures from your trip to the coast, and got me thinking, is that other shipwreck (the tanker) still on the beach?
You know which one I'm talking about?

 

At August 17, 2005 at 3:07:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan -- stop bothering my Uncle Leroy!

 

At August 17, 2005 at 3:31:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Scott - you mean the New Carissa? I think it's still there, although if you remember, they hauled half of her out to sea. I tried doing a Google Maps search of Coos Bay a few weeks ago to see if the ship shows up on the satellite image, but I couldn't see it (not enough detail). If you look it up, let me know.

Jim - as I was driving past him, I heard him yell out, "Rootyburger!" Still gonna defend him now? :)

 

At August 17, 2005 at 3:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

New Carissa, yeap that's it, on the Coos Bay beach, I will have to look into it a little more.

 

At August 17, 2005 at 4:56:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan -- you were camping for an entire weekend and all we get is this blurry picture of some old guy on a bike -- where are the "Stan being tied to an ant hill by the other campers" pictures, the "Stan being tossed in a creek by the other campers" pictures, the "pie eating contest" pictures [the latter because I just think pie eating contests are fun]?????????

 

At August 17, 2005 at 5:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I wouldn't trust anyone else to use my phone to take those pictures of me. Plus, I didn't win the pie eating contest because it was all onion pie, and who wants to eat onion pie?

Wacky Willy was seen this morning, not last weekend, although it would have been funny to see him riding in front of that halftrack, giving them the finger

 

At August 17, 2005 at 5:43:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

hehe, you still have some of the blackberry pie on your chin

 

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

ATTENTION TAILGATERS

See this? This is why I don't go 30 miles over the speed limit like you apparently want me to. I'll go the legal limit, maybe 5 over, and I'll stay in the right lane, out of your way.

So back off!

2 Talked Back:

At August 17, 2005 at 12:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

so this means you won't be chipping in on Scott's birthday present next month, he is expecting a house.

 

At August 17, 2005 at 10:21:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yeah, hope he doesn't mind a cardboard roof.

 

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Monday, August 15, 2005

Okay, here's one pic from the beach.

South Jetty, Fort Stevens State Park, Oregon:

On the left, the Pacific Ocean. On the right, the mouth of the mighty Columbia River. The jetty extends into the sea quite a ways; from where I stood, it looked like it'd take a couple of hours or more of rock-traversing just to get to the tip.

Here's the satellite view
to give you a sense of scale. This photo was from the observation tower. Later, (as will be seen in a couple of pics to be added later) I was standing on the part where the sandy beach to the north touches the jetty.

6 Talked Back:

At August 15, 2005 at 5:44:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

cool picture, now all you have to do is get a digital camera.
I have never been to that part of the Oregon coast.

 

At August 15, 2005 at 6:16:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

is the jetty to protect the river from the ocean, or the ocean from the river?

 

At August 15, 2005 at 6:22:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

River from the ocean, I believe. I didn't read all of the history, but I believe it was built in 1898 or something. How the crap they got all of those huge rocks out there, I can't fathom (pun intended).

 

At August 16, 2005 at 12:37:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

been pretty funny if you'd found a filter out there

 

At August 16, 2005 at 5:17:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

and why do they call it a jetty, can it fly?

 

At August 17, 2005 at 12:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I finally uploaded the remaining pictures from last weekend. There weren't too many on my phone, as I didn't carry it around for most of the time.

 

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Hopefully, it also features earplugs

Guess what? I was just asked to be the official photographer for X Fest NW 2005 in Skamania, Washington over Labor Day weekend. I've never done anything like it, but it sounds like fun.

CHRISTIAN UNDERGROUND

MUSIC FESTIVAL

FEATURING: INDIE-POP, HIP-HOP, PUNK, HARD-CORE, METAL, ELECTRONICA AND MORE!



Here's the schedule:

9/2

 5pm Madagascar
 6pm Phillips 33 lp
 7pm Soul Plasma
 8pm Joshua Fire
 9pm Reclaim the Fallen
10pm Royal Blue
11pm Blessed Be You
12pm Dear Whoever


9/3

 9am Worship - Nathan Ganz
10am Oden Soterias
11am Pligrims
12pm The Carolines
 1pm The Victory Sting
 2pm Prevailing Words
 3pm Urban Truth
 4pm Bruthaz Grimm
 5pm Jaycob Van Auken
 6pm 3lb Soul
 7pm Darkfield illuminatoR
 8pm Idlefill
 9pm Saint
10pm Brutal Fight
11pm The Stivs
12am IGNITION -Featuring BaSsIx, Kinetic, cloudburst +more

9/4

 9am Pastor Steve Ganz Tree of Life Church
10am Worship - 3lb Soul
11am Six Color Press
12pm tek/son
 1pm Nviah-nevi
 2pm Beleive
 3pm Fire Proof
 4pm TBA
 5pm Ripe
 6pm Two Twenty
 7pm The Monroe
 8pm Creswell
 9pm Selah P.R.
10pm The BlackStones
11pm Totalisti
12am THE PROM (80’s style!) Bring your best/worst Napoleon Dynamite tux and your best ripped dress!!!

1 Talked Back:

At August 15, 2005 at 5:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Walking,Talking,Poison said...

Wow, gratz thats pretty cool! I doubt the music will be that bad. My kids watch "Veggietales" and some of the christian groups featured are pretty talented.

 

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Friday, August 12, 2005

You will be left unattended, so behave

I'm going to the coast (as I just said two posts ago), and I'm not coming back until Sunday, so you kids had better be on your best behavior while I'm away, you hear me?

Until then, I leave you with a photo:

See ya later.

6 Talked Back:

At August 12, 2005 at 6:58:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Almost looks like a fish in that glass.

 

At August 12, 2005 at 8:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger funkysmell said...

Cereal license is funny.

www.funkysmell.com

 

At August 13, 2005 at 11:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger MH_Middlechild said...

LOL My dog does the same thing, and she doesn't care what we're drinking. If it's good enough for us, it's good enough for her.

 

At August 14, 2005 at 10:49:00 PM CDT, Blogger historymike said...

Hilarious.

 

At August 15, 2005 at 3:24:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

where are the funny pictures from your camping weekend?

 

At August 15, 2005 at 4:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Today is that one day of the month that I do work here (I had to go to Starbucks so I could stay awake for more than 90 minutes), so I can't upload them until tonight. Plus I haven't pix-messaged them from my phone yet, which is a (grumble) necessary step. (I really have to get a bona fide digital camera.)

 

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Speaking of pumped...

I am completely pumped about this Canadian band I just accidentally found:

The Trews

This is their myspace page. It'll automatically play a few of their songs.

Here's their video for "So She's Leaving". (It's the first of a director's reel, so there's something different after the video finishes.)

Their album, Den of Thieves, comes out on August 16th. I'm gonna have to buy it.

4 Talked Back:

At August 12, 2005 at 3:48:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Is Fort Stevens State Park actually on the coast? In all the years I lived there, I never made it that far up the Oregon Coast. Joni and I always went to Cannon Beach or Seaside.

 

At August 12, 2005 at 6:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yep, it's as far northwest as you can go in Oregon, quite a bit of beach. One part of the beach has the hulking remains of a shipwreck, although it's not much more than a jagged rust pile these days (perfect for the kiddies).

It's pretty cool to explore, a lot of way old military batteries, pillboxes, and the like. It's also the only place on the US mainland that the Japanese ever fired upon during WWII.

 

At August 12, 2005 at 6:16:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

you better take pictures

 

At August 12, 2005 at 6:51:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

All I have's my phone, but I'll snap one or two for the o.c.c.p.p.a. blog

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I'm pumped (literally)

Tomorrow after work I'm heading to Fort Stevens State Park, which is up on the northwestern tip of Oregon, because this weekend is my church's Family Camp. So I'm getting ready tonight, and I have this beach volleyball that I want to bring, but it's completely deflated. The only pump I have is this crappy hand pump, which I bought like 10 years ago, and it's not what you would call airtight. Add that to the fact that until the ball is almost completely inflated, it, too, is not airtight (strange, but true), and you're talking about some real work. It's two steps forward, one step back.

So here I am, pumping this crappy pump like a madman on crack, working up a sweat, increasing my heart rate, and I'm thinking, if I did this once a day I'd have my entire cardio workout done without even standing up. Whoo!

Recent search engine queries

Just looking at the short list of recent search engine queries that inexplicably brought people to this blog:
  • #1 on Yahoo: pictures of Aruba Jam Sprite Remix (Yes! Number 1!)
  • #9 on MSN when you search for: stan (Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man, doesn't appear until #33...take that, Spider-Geeks)
  • #16 on Yahoo: "wait for it, wait for it"
  • #39 on Yahoo UK & Ireland: long fingernails
  • #32 on MSN: delicious stuff (#33 is PlanetDelicious.com)

And the weirdest one...

  • #1, #3, and #11 on Yahoo UK & Ireland: steaming poo bmp

I'm so proud of you... *sniffle*

3 Talked Back:

At August 11, 2005 at 9:26:00 PM CDT, Blogger historymike said...

I'm getting all misty-eyed, too.

Whatever it takes, I suppose, to increase traffic and turn you into a blogstar.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 11:49:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

How did you find this out?

 

At August 12, 2005 at 12:51:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I use a standard site tracker, it gives me the lowdown on all you people

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Um, I don't know, "baby-sized"?

Just overheard a conversation between two ladies, one of them describing her sister's new baby. It's a conversation I've heard hundreds of times over, they're always asking about the dimensions of the child. What has always baffled me is, why is it important how many pounds, ounces, and inches this kid is? I mean, sure, if he's like 25 pounds or something, well, that's something to talk about, but other than that, I don't give a flying flip about the specifics.

What I find funny is that people always seem to know how their own dimensions at the time of their birth. How on earth did they know that? Were they laying on the scale, all of one minute old, saying, "Hey, nurse, what's the verdict?" Okay, so their moms told them. But why did they find it important enough to remember, and share with other people?

Yet again, I feel like an alien looking in at your species, thinking, "Your kind is so weird."

1 Talked Back:

At August 11, 2005 at 4:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

And then this particular species of ladies probably went on to discuss all the other mundane aspects of the baby: the exact minute it was born, how it cried, when it pooped for the first time.

I dislike this species.

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Reverse "ghost ad"

For those who don't know what a ghost ad is, it's an advertisement that was painted upon the wall of a building a long time ago, and has since faded, but isn't removed due to its historical value. Often, the companies advertised in the ad went out of business decades ago. The city of Portland has many, many ghost ads downtown, especially in the Pearl District. They definitely add to the charm of the area.

This ad was found on a building at the east end of the Hawthorne bridge, and it's unique among its kind. It started as an ad for Coca-Cola painted on a west-facing wall, but then another building (the one you see here) was built right up against the first one, obscuring the ad. Years later, the first building was demolished, but the paint from its ad had transferred to the east-facing wall of the second building, which is why it shows up in reverse.

4 Talked Back:

At August 11, 2005 at 12:18:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I remember that building, it's down by AP.
I have always been amazed of this ad on the wall. I hope they never paint over it.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 5:02:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It was a challenge to photograph it through the passenger window while making sure that a) there were no cars in the shot, and b) I wasn't going to rear-end the SUV in front of me. After all, it was the McL at about 5:30pm, major traffic time.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 7:41:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

My favorite is the one you can see if you stand at the corner of NW 10th and W Burnside and look up, about twenty or thirty degress, a little west of southwest.

Best vantange would be from by the OzoneUK store, not from Powell's Books.

There, on the tallest exposed building, is a ghost-ad for some long-extinct business college (no, not Western).

It exulted in its night-class offering.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 11:45:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I've seen that one many times, as I worked on the corner of 11th and Burnside for a few months, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it says. I guess another trip to Powell's is in order :)

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

But first, here's a little backstory [list]

McSweeney's just added a few more lists, one of which is "Lesser Known Movie Prequels". My favorite: There are Plenty of Mohicans.

Naturally, I began to think of more, and I made a list of my own, not surprisingly called "More Lesser-known Movie Prequels". I just sent it off. Let's see how it does.

I won't put up my twelve ideas yet (something about previously "published" work not being eligible for McSweeney's), but let's get a new reader-submitted list going, to continue the fun! Read the original list if you need an idea of how it works.

Note: remember, the concept here is "before", not just "diminished version of" or "opposite of". It's mainly just replacing one or two key words in an existing movie's title. Ideally, they will be easy enough to figure out without explanation, and don't forget funny! (That's why Second to the Last of the Mohicans would be good, but There Are Plenty of Mohicans is better.)

Example: Mornings of Thunder - Mornings come before days; thus, it's a prequel to Days of Thunder.

1. Private Ryan, Heathen (nitsuj)
2. The Completely Different Suspects (sayunderpants)
3. Temporary Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (sayunderpants)
4. Happy Max (ashman)
5. Came With the Wind (Jim)
6. Prince Kong (Jim)
7. The Touchables (ashman)
8. The Impregnation of a Large Land Mass (Jim)
9. Tomorrow (Samuel John Klein)
10. Immigrant Kane (Klein)
11. The Opening Skirmish of the Worlds (Klein)
12. Who Started to Develop a Grudge Against Roger Rabbit? (Andrew-TLA)
13. Who Just Said Gilbert Grape Looks Tasty? (nitsuj)
14. Lord of the Rings: The King is Going on Vacation (El Dave)
15. Losing Nemo (Jim)
16. The Matrix: Out of Ammunition (El Froggo)
17. Black Hawk Takes Off Without Incident (El Froggo)

25 Talked Back:

At August 9, 2005 at 6:25:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

American Pie-The Divorce

 

At August 9, 2005 at 6:44:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

That's good, but it'd be a sequel, not a prequel.

If you said Colonial Pie, that would fit.

For example, think of what a prequel to Days of Thunder would be called, then you've got it...

 

At August 9, 2005 at 7:03:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

D'oh, my bad, now I understand.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 9:16:00 PM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Private Ryan, Heathen

 

At August 9, 2005 at 9:19:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Took me a second, but I get it now.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger SayUnderpants said...

* The Completely Different Suspects

* Temporary Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:27:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

Since I'm a MAD MAX fan, how about HAPPY MAX

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Came With The Wind

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Prince Kong

 

At August 9, 2005 at 11:10:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

The Touchables

 

At August 9, 2005 at 11:27:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

may be too subtle: The Impregnation of a Large Land Mass

 

At August 10, 2005 at 1:18:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

"Tomorrow".

(Think that big money climate disaster movie from the other year.

 

At August 10, 2005 at 1:38:00 AM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Oh, and how about these:

"Immigrant Kane"
"The Opening Skirmish of the Worlds"

That last one was a bit obvious.

 

At August 10, 2005 at 1:43:00 AM CDT, Blogger Andrew-TLA said...

Who Started to Develop a Grudge Against Roger Rabbit?

 

At August 10, 2005 at 2:02:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Samuel: Actually, Tomorrow almost went on the list I submitted to McSweeney's. I left it off, though, because I debated whether or not The Day Before Yesterday might have been funnier. But then I would've had to explain it. Then I gave up on it. It's still good though :)

 

At August 10, 2005 at 2:08:00 AM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Who Just Said Gilbert Grape Looks Tasty?

 

At August 10, 2005 at 2:11:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

There's got to be a ton of animal-related prequels; for starters, I just thought of Reservoir Puppies and Egg Run. I'm sure that there are some more clever than those two, finding a film that has an animal in the title but isn't about animals at all.

 

At August 10, 2005 at 2:17:00 AM CDT, Blogger El Dave said...

Lord of the Rings: The King is Going on Vacation

 

At August 10, 2005 at 1:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Losing Nemo

 

At August 11, 2005 at 12:24:00 AM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

Matrix: out of ammunition.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 1:37:00 AM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

This entry of yours just provided some great entertainment at a mini-party I just had!! So thanks! We also enjoyed greatly the "obscenities uttered by Jesus Christ" list.

love meagan

 

At August 11, 2005 at 3:46:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo said...

Oh I got one, Black hawk up.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 4:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Let's call it Black Hawk Takes Off Without Incident, and you got a deal.

 

At August 11, 2005 at 11:47:00 PM CDT, Anonymous El Froggo. said...

Ok.

Hey Stan, you go to church right? My Grandfather's a reveran in that area.

 

At August 12, 2005 at 12:53:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Really, whereabouts?

Also, I thought you had a site somewhere. I wanted to link you to from this list.

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

That's a new one

From a couple of cubicles over, I just heard a guy sneeze, then mutter under his breath, "Darned chocolate."

What the heck is he doing with chocolate?

1 Talked Back:

At August 9, 2005 at 10:32:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Maybe he is allergic but cannot stop eating it anyway.

Mik

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Places I've lived

Inspired by Scott's list of places he's lived, I decided to present a similar list. But since I've always lived in the Portland area, I had to "zoom in" a bit further than Scott did.

11/72 - 4/76: SE 91st Ave., Portland, Ore.
4/76 - 9/88: NE Holladay St., [Gresham*], Ore.
9/88 - 3/92: Bedford Dr., Oregon City, Ore.
3/92 - 1/93: E 18th St., Vancouver, Wash.
1/93 - 4/93: SE 81st Ave., Portland, Ore.
4/93 - 4/94: NE 53rd Ave., Portland, Ore.
4/94 - 6/94: NE 118th Ave., Portland, Ore.
6/94 - 6/95: E 18th St., Vancouver, Wash.
6/95 - 10/97: NE Glisan St., Portland, Ore.
10/97 - 9/01: NE Oregon St., Portland, Ore.
9/01 - 11/01: SE 77th Ave., Portland, Ore.
11/01 - 1/04: NE 55th Ave., Portland, Ore.
1/04 - 9/06: SE Aldercrest Ct., Milwaukie, Ore.
9/08 - 3/08: Morgan Heights, Carthage, Mo.
3/08 - present: Oronogo, Mo.

*Unincorporated East Multnomah County, annexed to Gresham 1988 or 1989


updated October 2006

11 Talked Back:

At August 9, 2005 at 2:58:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Wow. If I wanted to stalk you you've certainly made it easy. But I don't. So fear not.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 3:19:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

You mean if you wanted to stalk me up until 1/04. Milwaukie's a pretty nonspecific description of where I live now.

Although come to think of it, the last time you saw me in person, it was in Milwaukie...

 

At August 9, 2005 at 4:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

The NE Gilsan St, and the NE Oregon St. places, I remember those.....

Do you ever hear from Aaron and Doug anymore?

 

At August 9, 2005 at 4:15:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

"...Milwaukie's a pretty nonspecific description of where I live now.

Yep. When I think "nonspecific", Milwaukie is pretty much what comes to mind.

Which reminds me of Milwaukie's new motto: "Somewhere on McLoughlin Blvd between Portland and Gladstone...that's where you'll find us!!!"

 

At August 9, 2005 at 8:04:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

I know, I did realize after I posted that you didn't actually get specific with your current location. BUT if your life was a movie and I was writing the "prequel" then it would have been very helpful information! So, I guess I can't stalk you (good), but I must be psychic since I hadn't read your following post!

Hmm. This is a confusing comment. I'm going to post it anyway.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 8:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Well, Meagan, you and only you are allowed to stalk me. If you want to. I won't mind.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 9:14:00 PM CDT, Blogger Meagan said...

Oh my freakatasticfabulosolicious, that is the best thing I have been told all day long.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 9:23:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Incidentally, freakatasticfabulosolicious just happens to be my screen name on the "Look Who's Stalking" message boards.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:28:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

there was no need to put "Ore." each time, unless you're compulsively addressive

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:35:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Luckily, I'm compulsively addressive, or else I'd be totally embarrassed right now.

 

At August 9, 2005 at 11:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

and unemployed

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, August 08, 2005

Time to play "Guess My Favorite Food"

Take a wild guess what this driver's favorite food is.

Hint: NOT pork chops.

9 Talked Back:

At August 8, 2005 at 6:11:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

I want to guess....is it cut green beans?

 

At August 8, 2005 at 7:01:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Hint: NOT cut green beans. Think green clovers. (And blue diamonds, purple horseshoes, etc.)

 

At August 8, 2005 at 9:09:00 PM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Maybe there just wasn't enough room for "CEREBRAL"... it could be a zombie!

 

At August 8, 2005 at 9:37:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Oh, that's easy. What you all have missed is that it is "LEREAC" when spelt backwards. It is a ethnic dish prepared by the metric ton in Lithuania (or maybe KwaZula-Natal) which is probably made of garbanzos (like falafel) unless it isn't (in which case it's made of a mixture of rum and candied ginger, unless of course it isn't made of that either.

When eaten it is said to produce a feeling of satisfaction and bliss, or perhaps an instant heart attack.

No matter where (or how) you find it, there is one secrent ingredient handed down through the ages. I will now say what that is; it's .*^ll2389j:LJkkkawoi992383PUWE...+++ATH0

:LKJ

NO CARRIER

 

At August 8, 2005 at 9:40:00 PM CDT, Blogger Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

"brandnewbie":

Maybe there just wasn't enough room for "CEREBRAL"... it could be a zombie!

You know what the vegetarian zombies said?


GRRRAINSSSS.....GrrrainSSSSS....

 

At August 8, 2005 at 10:47:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Abbreviating "CEREBRAL" to "CEREAL" instead of "CREBRL" or "CERBRL" isn't very cerebral now, is it? :)

Incidentally, .*^ll2389j:LJkkkawoi992383PUWE...+++ATH0 just happens to be my screen name on the Cap'n Crunch message boards.

 

At August 8, 2005 at 11:22:00 PM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

"When the toast is burned and all the milk has turned, and Cap'n Crunch is wavin' farewell..

When the big one finds you may this song remind you that they don't serve breakfast in hell!"

(sorry, zombies!)

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

are you sure it says cereal, the photo is real grainy

 

At August 9, 2005 at 10:47:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

brandnewbie: Their other car's plates were going to say "BRAIN" but they shortened it to "BRAN"

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Chunk/Filter Watch, Conclusion

Day 3, 5:45 pm: The subject has either departed or was removed from the theater of study. A cursory check of the local plant areas and refuse containers revealed nothing.

This observer's conclusion: After two days of investigative pondering, I have deduced that the "dead" woman who called twice was actually Reese Roper (singer and NASA operative), who was trying to tell me to stop reporting on the whereabouts of a fallen chunk of the Discovery (or thoughtlessly discarded, dirty air filter), and, when I wouldn't answer the phone, instructed his shadow agent, disguised as a tree under house arrest, to confiscate the item.


This concludes my investigation.
Stan W. Kost
August 7, 2005

Friday, August 05, 2005

Discovery Chunk/Sentient Filter Watch Update

DAY 3, 7:55am: The missing chunk of the space shuttle Discovery, or a sentient air filter, moved very little over the past 15 hours. It appears to have gravitated a few inches north toward its position at this time yesterday.


Again, there has been no attempt made to remove this object from the public city sidewalk.

DAY 3, 8:45am: No change in position. Perhaps it's resting.

6 Talked Back:

At August 5, 2005 at 1:52:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

you're assuming that it is the same chunk, maybe it's a very slow rain of chunks and the men in black find and retrieve them but more keep falling.

ps. why is that tree in prison?

 

At August 5, 2005 at 2:05:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It's not in prison. It's under house arrest.

 

At August 5, 2005 at 3:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

tree house arrest?

 

At August 5, 2005 at 3:34:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Pretty much. It has to wear a trunk bracelet.

 

At August 5, 2005 at 6:08:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

well, it is a pretty shady character [sorry]

 

At August 5, 2005 at 6:22:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

I'd say more, but the dead lady's still watching me. She called again an hour ago.

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Sherpa no more

Just a brief note: After two years of having Joel and Steve available for a large audience through uClick's Comics Sherpa site, I have canceled the service.

Because of my once-every-NEVER comic update schedule for the past year and a half, I didn't feel it was worth $99 per year (more now, I hear) to keep showing the same episode for months at a time.

1 Talked Back:

At August 5, 2005 at 1:53:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Filter/Chunk Watch Update


DAY 2, 5:07pm: While nobody actually stopped to pick up the air filter/space shuttle chunk, it was moved about six feet south of its morningtime position.

(As an impartial observer, I must not interfere by moving/disposing of the subject.)

1 Talked Back:

At August 5, 2005 at 1:43:00 AM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

it was moved, or it moved itself?

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

We wondered why the new bookshelf was meowing

Funny site I just found:

Stuff on My Cat.

It is as it sounds - people pile stuff on top of their cats, then take a picture. Some of these are absolutely hilarious.

2 Talked Back:

At August 4, 2005 at 4:54:00 PM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

That is just too funny. I'm crying I can't stop laughing.

I should try that with Fred.

Did you see the picture of the cat with the beany hat on?

 

At August 4, 2005 at 5:00:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

My favorite so far is the cat with 17 pizza boxes on it

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Phone call from the dead

Even though I never get calls from telemarketers on my cell phone (as far as I know), I still won't answer a call if I don't recognize the number on the caller ID. But if I'm at a computer, I'll do a reverse search on the number to see if I know who it was (unless they leave a voice mail).

This morning I got one of those calls, and when I looked the number up, it was assigned to a woman in Hillsboro (about 20 miles west of here). Her name was oh-so-vaguely familiar, so I Googled it. Only three hits, and they were all obituary listings from 2004. Same name, including middle initial - and very unique, so I know it's the same person. The deceased was also from Hillsboro.

So I figure that either her ghost is calling me, or she placed the call last year and it just now rang my phone. Interesting.

4 Talked Back:

At August 4, 2005 at 12:50:00 PM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

We placed our home and cell numbers on the national do not call list so we don't have to deal with telemarketers.

Mik

 

At August 4, 2005 at 1:32:00 PM CDT, Blogger SayUnderpants said...

Wow, it's unusual for a dead person to call unless they have something REALLY important to tell you - and of course it's against the rules for them to leave a voicemail message...

 

At August 4, 2005 at 1:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

non - if I did that, no one would ever call. :(

Say -- you seem to know a lot about this, I figured you belonged to the Psychic Friends Network. :)

Stan -- it was Reese Roper, he wants his hat back. ;)

 

At August 4, 2005 at 4:21:00 PM CDT, Blogger Humor Girl said...

I bet you she was trying to contact you from the dead! Dude, you should have a seance and blog about it!

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Sidewalk Air Filter OR Discovery Chunk Watch

DAY 2*, 7:55am: Yesterday morning as I was walking from the parking garage to the office, I noticed this dirty air filter on the sidewalk:


Funny, when I glanced it yesterday, it appeared clean and new. I thought it was strange that someone would leave an unused air filter on a sidewalk.

I'll keep my eye out to see how long it remains here. I won't be watching it on the weekend.

Thank you Jim, it just might be a chunk of space shuttle Discovery. NASA has been alerted but won't be able to retrieve the chunk immediately due to their grounding of all flights.

*I didn't post anything on Day 1, because I didn't anticipate it still being there this morning.

6 Talked Back:

At August 4, 2005 at 1:47:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

are you sure it's not that piece they cut off of the space shuttle?

 

At August 4, 2005 at 1:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

It might be! I'd better alert NASA.

 

At August 4, 2005 at 3:12:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Stan did you look up, maybe it fell out of an air vent, maybe someone or something has entered the air ducts in your building and is staring at you right now and is thinking "Whoopee a snack!"

 

At August 4, 2005 at 4:02:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

While that's a likely scenario -it's happened three times in August alone - this air filter or Discovery chunk was actually found four blocks away outside a parking garage. (Not the one I park in)

 

At August 4, 2005 at 4:38:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

that filter's twin has been spotted stalking Reese Roper

 

At August 4, 2005 at 4:51:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

That's ridiculously funny

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I found my twin brother!

There once was a band called Five Iron Frenzy that played really good Christian ska music in the late 90's, back when ska was huge. I mean, they played good music before and after then, too, but that's when they reached the big time, at least in the Christian music world. They didn't always play ska, though: they had written several other songs that didn't fit into their ska "mold", and they released albums of these songs under the moniker Brave Saint Saturn. The band has dismantled since then, but their lead singer, Reese Roper, has formed another band called...Roper.

Roper played at the Creation West music festival in George, Washington last weekend, and my buddy Justin, who's a big fan of them, went to see their show. He also got a picture with Reese, and noted that he looked a lot like me. A few years ago, I, too, noticed this similarity when looking at a BSS album cover, but never really noticed the strong resemblance until I saw his picture on Justin's blog.

Take a look:



I'd better call Mom. I think there's something she's not telling me.

6 Talked Back:

At August 2, 2005 at 1:51:00 AM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

They say we all have a twin somewhere.

 

At August 2, 2005 at 2:19:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Yes, and after much searching, I think I actually found yours...

 

At August 2, 2005 at 2:27:00 AM CDT, Blogger Scott said...

You're right, it's amazing on how much we look alike! :)

 

At August 2, 2005 at 2:33:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

sometimes you guys just scare me

 

At August 3, 2005 at 10:42:00 PM CDT, Blogger . said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

At August 4, 2005 at 10:14:00 AM CDT, Blogger nitsuj said...

Ok, fine, I'll finally comment. I've visited your blog more in the last few days than ever before, it's just funny.. Haha, I KNEW there was a similarity between you guys.. but little did I know you both wore hats! Uncanny! :)

 

Okay, now it's your turn | Home

Monday, August 01, 2005

If you need to reach me, write me a letter

Yesterday I misplaced my cell phone, and I'm feeling kind of naked without it. I'm edgy and nervous, wondering if the morning dew on the grass, where I think I might have left it, damaged it. I was at a farm last night, and there are ducks and chickens walking around all the time. Maybe one of them's pecking or pooping on it right now. The sun's coming out later, I hope that the phone doesn't get sun damaged!

The trouble with cell phones is that because it's so easy to call people I know from speed dial, I've eliminated the need to actually memorize anyone's phone number. Plus, since there's no land line at my house, I can't even call my roommates to help me find the phone - I don't know what their cell numbers are.

5 Talked Back:

At August 1, 2005 at 1:40:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

Maybe it was a chicken thief? A capon caper! I’m sure someone will quack the case soon.

 

At August 1, 2005 at 9:47:00 PM CDT, Blogger stan said...

Well, I found it, thank goodness. I was feeling pretty fowl for a while about losing it.

 

At August 1, 2005 at 11:17:00 PM CDT, Blogger Jim said...

and please note that all of us restrained ourselves from making any jokes about what you were doing in the grass to cause you to lose it, so you owe us a new doodle

 

At August 2, 2005 at 12:40:00 AM CDT, Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

I hate it when that happens I usually misplace it around the house. I have trouble calling it to hear it ringing because I can never remember my own cell phone number.

Mik

 

At August 2, 2005 at 1:10:00 AM CDT, Blogger stan said...

They have a big trampoline, and I thought I had either taken the phone out of my pocket, or it fell out while I was bouncing around.

Turns out neither happened. The phone had actually fallen onto the floor behind the driver's seat of my car, then slid directly under it. When I checked the car last night, I hadn't even thought to check there, since I didn't think it was remotely possible for it to be there.

Mik, usually when I misplace my phone, the first thing I do is to call it using someone else's phone. Fortunately I know my number. The tactic doesn't work when it's on silent mode, though.. :)

 

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